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The 

TEENIE WEENIES 

IN THE WILDWOOD 

BY 

WILLIAM DONAHEY 

'\ 



Illustrated by 
THE AUTHOR 


The Reilly & Lee Co. 
Chicago 







S’ 


/4 h 





A 





Mr. Donahey is of the staff of The Chicago Tribune, and to that 
newspaper the author-artist and the publishers extend thanks for courtesies 
in connection with the publication of this book. 


C1A752366 








LIST OF CHAPTERS 


Chapter Page 

1 Alarming News. 7 

2 The Captured Teenie Weenies. 11 

3 Campaign Preparations... 16 

4 A Warning in Camp. 20 

5 The Queen of the Wild Men. 24 

6 The Storm. 26 

7 A Suspension Bridge. 29 

8 A Badly Frightened Army. 33 

9 The Captives Attend a Dance. 36 

10 Help from a Ground Robin. 39 

11 The Poet Learns Sabo. 44 

12 Gogo’s Brave Act. 48 

13 The Attack. 52 

14 On the Wild Men’s Island. 56 

15 A Council of War. 59 

16 Wild Men Bottled Up. 63 

17 The Dunce in Disgrace. 66 

18 Consulting an Engineer. 70 

19 The Old Soldier’s War Machine. 74 

20 The Dunce Looks for Excitement. 79 

21 The Scouts Have a Narrow Escape. 83 

22 The Battle. 89 

23 The Red Cross. 92 

24 Let There Be Peace. 96 

25 The Peace Dance. 103 

26 Home . 109 

27 The Grand Review. 114 






























The Teenie Weenies 
In the Wildwood 


Chapter One 

ALARMING NEWS 

T HE Teenie Weenies had known for some time that a 
tribe of tiny wild men lived in a big swamp many 
teenie weenie miles from the shoe house. Field mice and 
birds had carried the news of these strange little people 
to the Teenie Weenies. The wild men lived in the heart 
of a big forest and they spoke a language quite different 
from the Teenie Weenies. 

“These wild men are very cruel,” a friendly bird told 
the Teenie Weenies. “They are called Saboes, or frog 
eaters,, and they would just as soon destroy a person as 
look at him.” 

“Well, they will never hurt us,” the General said, “for 
we shall leave them alone and, besides, they live a great 
distance from the shoe house.” 

“Well, you’d better watch but for them; there are a 
great many of these wild men and you can never tell 
when they might come along,” said the bird, who was a 
mourning dove and always looked on the dark side of 
things. 


7 


8 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


The Teenie Weenies didn’t worry about the wild men 
much, for they lived so far away and, besides, there was 
the Teenie Weenie army ever ready to protect them 
against an enemy. But the little people soon had cause 
for worry, for a dreadful thing happened. 

One afternoon a snail raced slowly up to the shoe 
house with alarming news—the Lady of Fashion and the 
Poet had been captured by the wild men! 

“ Gracious! ” gasped the General. “ How did you find 
this out? ” 

“ I-I-I-I saw them captured,” answered the snail. “The 
wild men took them and put them in their boat and pad- 
died down the creek. There must have been five or six of 
the wild men. They all had bows and arrows and spears 
too, and they looked terribly fierce.” 

“ Ring the bell,” cried the General. “ We’ll have a great 
council and see what can be done.” 

Several of the Teenie Weenies ran to the old derby hat 
which served the little people as a school house and ar¬ 
mory, and began furiously to ring the tiny bell. All the 
birds and animals who lived near the little village knew 
that when the bell rang long and loud it was a signal for 
them to come. In a few minutes, two birds flew under the 
rose bush where the village stood and one by one, sev¬ 
eral mice, a squirrel and a couple of intelligent-looking 
bugs appeared. 

“Friends,” said the General, addressing the assembled 
crowd, “I have terrible news! The Lady of Fashion and 
the Poet have been captured by the wild men. This — 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


9 


this snail here has just brought the report.” 

The Teenie Weenies and their friends were much 
shocked by the news, while the snail strutted about, feel¬ 
ing quite important at being the bearer of such an excit¬ 
ing message. 



“ When did this happen? ” asked the mouse with a 
squeaky voice. 


“About five or six hours ago,” an wered the snail. “ I 
was walkin’ near the creek when — ” 

“Five or six hours ago!” shouted the General, turn¬ 
ing on the snail. “For the land’s sake, why didn’t you 
come immediately?” 

“I-I-I did,” answered the snail, with an injured expres¬ 
sion. “ I came just as fast as I could crawl.” 

“ Of course you did,” said the General kindly. “ I beg 
your pardon. I forgot for the moment that you do not 
move as fast as most of us.” The snail, who had rather a 




10 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


sensitive nature, was quite hurt by the General’s words 
and it instantly shrank back into its shell. 

After some talk it was decided to scatter up and down 
the creek in search of the lost Teenie Weenies. The birds 
flew up and down the creek until it was quite too dark for 
them to see, while the little people and the rest of their 
friends hunted all through the night without a sign of the 
Lady of Fashion and the Poet. 




Chapter Two 

THE CAPTURED TEENIE WEENIES 



those two little people were being rapidly paddled down 
the stream and away from their friends. 

The Lady of Fashion and the Poet had gone to the 
bank of the creek for a picnic. They had eaten their 
lunch and the Lady of Fashion suggested that they walk 
down the stream in search of wild flowers. They had only 
gone a little ways when the wild men, who had been 
watching them, suddenly leaped upon them from behind 
a big bush. In a few seconds the wild little fellows had 
carried their tiny prisoners to their canoe, after having 
securely bound their hands behind them. Lifting the Tee- 
nie Weenies into the boat the wild men jumped in after 
them and began to paddle down the creek. 

“ This is a pretty bag of seeds,” moaned the Poet as the 
boat shot rapidly down the stream. “It’s hard to tell 
what will become of us now.” 

“If—if we could just get word to the General,” whis¬ 
pered the Lady of Fashion, “he’d bring the army and 
come after these—these wild men and rescue us.” 

“ There’s no chance of writing a note and dropping it 
somewhere, with our hands tied behind us.” 

11 


12 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


“ I’ll tell you what we can do,” whispered the Lady of 
Fashion. “ If we should see a bird we can call to it' and 
ask it to tell the General that we have been captured.” 


But the two Teenie Weenies never came close enough 



to a bird all that day, for the wild men paddled their ca¬ 
noe near the shore of the creek under the cover of the 
overhanging ferns and grass. 


As the canoe floated along down the stream the Lady 
of Fashion and the Poet spent their time studying the 






IN THE WILDWOOD 


13 


strange little wild men, or Saboes, as they were called. 
They were sturdily built little chaps, but a trifle smaller 
than the Teenie Weenies. They had dark brown skins, 
bushy hair, and around their fierce-looking eyes were 
painted circles of white. One or two of the wild men wore 
shirts with skirts almost to their knees, but the most of 
them were dressed only in trousers which were made 
from the skins of young frogs. Their spears were made 
of long sticks with a sharp fish bone tied to the end, and 
several of them carried bows and arrows, while their war 
clubs were made by fastening sharp blackberry thorns to 
a short handle. Many of the little wild men wore strings 
of beautifully carved raspberry beads about their necks 
and arms, which the little fellows called “gum gum,” the 
Sabo name for money. 

The canoe, which the little men paddled very skill¬ 
fully, was made from a huge cucumber, and on the end of 
the boat was painted a queer face. This face was sup¬ 
posed to look like a cat and was meant to frighten the 
Saboes’ enemies. 

When evening came on and it began to grow dark, the 
wild men stopped on a sandy beach, where they made 
the two Teenie Weenies understand by motions that they 
would rest a while. 

Several of the Saboes bent over the stem of a tall dan¬ 
delion, while one of the little men gathered an armful of 
the soft, fluffy down, which he put on the ground and 
covered with dry grass and sticks. He then took two 
sticks and rubbed them together so hard that they grew 



14 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


very hot and soon a spark fell into the dandelion down, 
which blazed up and quickly set fire to the grass and 
sticks. 

Presently two of the wild men, who had disappeared 
in the direction of the creek, returned and one of them 
carried the leg of a frog over his shoulder. The little men 
cut the leg into great chunks almost as big as a pea and 
these were soon roasting over the fire. 

The Lady of Fashion and the Poet sat on a log be¬ 
side the fire and although the Lady of Fashion tried hard 
to keep from crying, every now and then a tear would 
trickle down her tiny cheek. 

“ Don’t worry,” said the Poet. “ The General will find 
some way to come to our rescue. He won’t let any harm 
come to us.” 

“ I-I-I s-s-s-suppose so,” sobbed the little lady. “ But 
I-I-I haven’t a clean handkerchief and — and — and my 
hair is a sight! ” 

In spite of the fact that the Teenie Weenies were ter¬ 
ribly worried, the roasting meat smelled wonderfully 
good and when it was done the prisoners’ hands were 
untied and they were each given a piece. Both ate a good 
portion and agreed that it was delicious. They wiped 
their fingers on a leaf and then the wild men tied 
their hands again and made them understand that they 
were to sleep. 

All night long the wild men kept up a bright fire. They 
took turns sleeping and watching their prisoners, but the 
two Teenie Weenies needed very little watching, for they 








































>* v- ^ 





IN THE WILDWOOD 


15 


were quite tired out with the day’s experience and slept 
most of the night. 

At the very first break of day the wild men were 
awake and after a hurried breakfast of frog ham and a 
blackberry which one of the men found, they once more 
pushed out in the canoe and paddled down the stream. 

Two days later they landed on the island where the 
wild men lived. When the two Teenie Weenies stepped 
out of the canoe a great number of the wild little people 
came running toward them. The women and children 
stared at them in great astonishment, while the men 
danced and swung their clubs and spears in a most ter¬ 
rible way. 




Chapter Three 

CAMPAIGN PREPARATIONS 


A LL night long the Teenie Weenies searched without 
success for the captured Lady of Fashion and the 
Poet. The Indian found the spot where they had been sur¬ 
prised and taken. Their tiny footprints and the tracks 
of the wild men, as well as the spot where the canoe had 
been pushed into the water, showed plainly in the moist 
sand. 

“ Him wild man, him get good start,” grunted the In¬ 
dian after he had studied the footprints for some time. 
“ We no catch’um before him get home.” 

“I’m afraid not,” answered the General. “ If that slow¬ 
poke snail had been a little faster we might have caught 
them.” 

“ Ugh! ” was all the Indian said. 

When all the Teenie Weenies had returned to the lit¬ 
tle village after the search, the General called a meeting. 

“ Men,” he began, “ we have got to do something and 
do it quickly! ” 

“ Call out the army, why don’t you? ” shouted an ex¬ 
cited mouse that had joined the crowd. 

“ I believe we’ll have to,” answered the General. “ I 
hate to use the army, but I don’t see what else we can 
do. These wild men are very savage and I have been told 
16 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


17 


that there are many of them. If we go after the Lady of 
Fashion and the Poet, we are going on a hard and dan¬ 
gerous mission. We will have many long miles to march 
and there — there may be fighting. Now, men, I will put 
it to a vote. All those in favor of sending the army after 
the wild men in order to free our friends will say ‘ yes.’ ” 
“Yes!” shouted every singleTeenie Weenie, so loudly 



that they made the leaves tremble on the old rose bush 
overhead. 

The little people started at once to prepare for the trip 
into the forest, for it was there that the wild men lived. It 
takes a great deal of work to outfit an army and the lit¬ 
tle men were soon buzzing about as busy as bees. 

Two squirrels offered their services, but the General 
was forced to refuse them, for they were such big eaters 
that the army could not afford to feed them. 




18 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


Several mice were hired to pull the wagons and the 
cannons and also for the officers to ride. 

A great quantity of food and tools had to be brought 
out and loaded into the wagons. It took seven hundred 
grains of wheat, six hundred grains of corn, thirty raisins, 
six dried prunes, fifty-eight beans, to say nothing of 
cocoa, salt, pepper, baking powder, picks, shovels, pul¬ 
leys, ropes, tents, a great quantity of cheese for the mice- 
horses and many other things. 

It was quite late that night before the wagons were 
loaded and most of the little soldiers slept in their uni¬ 
forms, for the army was to start into the forest soon after 
daylight. 

The army was to be made up of a division of ten in¬ 
fantrymen, two artillerymen, two mounted scouts, two 
cooks, a doctor and two nurses. 

The General was in command, with the Old Soldier 
as chief of staff, while Paddy Pinn had command of the 
artillery. 

When the little soldiers had said their last good-byes, 
the men stepped into line and at the gruff command of the 
General they swung away towards the great forest in 
which the wild men lived. The Indian and the Cowboy, 
mounted on mice, rode ahead of the army and picked out 
the best and easiest road for the soldiers, while the Turk, 
who was chosen as the aviator, flew above the army on 
the back of a bird, ever watchful for enemies. 

At noon the army halted for lunch beneath the shade 
of a lilac bush, where each man eagerly devoured the 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


19 


grain of baked wheat which had been given to each sol¬ 
dier that morning as his ration. 

After they had rested a bit, and when they had filled 
their tiny canteens with water from an old tin can, the 
command was given to “fall in.” Once more the army 
took up the march. 

The army had a hard time that afternoon, for the road 
it traveled was very rough. The little soldiers had to stop 
every now and then to chop weeds and dandelions from 
the road so the wagons and cannon could pass. Late in 
the afternoon the Turk told the General he had sighted 
an excellent place for a camp, and all the tired little chaps 
were made very happy when the order was given to make 
camp for the night. 




Chapter Four 

A WARNING IN CAMP 


T HE first day’s march was very hard on the soldiers, 
for the sun was hot and the little fellows were not 
used to such long tramps. When the order came for the 
army to break ranks and make camp ready for the night, 
the soldiers worked with a will unloading the wagons 
and putting up the tents. The kitchen tent was put 
up first so the Cook and the Chinaman would lose 
no time in getting dinner ready for the hungry army. 

The mice that pulled the army wagons were given a 
good feed of cheese and they were quartered in a hollow 
tree for the night. The airplane ate ten grains of bird 
seed and hopped onto the limb of the bush under which 
the tiny camp lay. 

When the camp had been put in order for the night, 
mess call was sounded and the soldiers formed in line with 
their tin plates. The Cook had prepared 
two boiled beans and a thimbleful of 
corn soup for the army. Each man was 
given a plate of soup, a big spoonful of 
bean and a large piece of bread. 

After dinner the little soldiers gath¬ 
ered on the bank of a puddle of water, 
where they bathed their aching feet, 
20 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


21 


while others took off their uniforms and enjoyed a 
good swim. The foolish Dunce dived head first into the 
pool without first testing the water to see how deep it 
was and he nearly broke his silly neck, for the hole was 
only three Teenie Weenie feet (a little over an inch and a 
half) deep. 

“ Believe me! ” exclaimed the Dunce after he was pulled 
out of the water and sat on the bank rubbing a big bump 
on his head, “ I’m through diving. I wouldn’t dive into a 
teacup full of water even if I could see the bottom.” 

The General decided to let the army rest for a day, as 
the soldiers all complained of sore feet and, besides, one 
of the horses was bothered with a lame leg, which had 
been hurt in a mouse trap a few days before. The men 
were given a little light rifle practice, while Paddy Pinn 
tried out the cannon at long range shooting, bringing 
down a dandelion in three shots at the remarkable range 
of four hundred and twenty Teenie Weenie feet (17 feet 
in our measurement). 

The noise of the cannon attracted the attention of 
many birds, squirrels, bugs and field mice, who gathered 
around the edge of the camp with wide-open eyes. 

“ What’s the trouble? ” asked a bright-eyed chipmunk. 
“ Is there a war or somethin’? ” 

“No,” answered the General kindly. “We are on our 
way to rescue a couple of Teenie Weenies who have been 
stolen by the wild men who live in the heart of the big 
woods.” 

“Well, you’d better go back,” warned the Chipmunk. 



22 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


“ Those wild men are a bad lot and they are as thick as 
bees in clover time.” 

“We are not afraid,” answered the General. “We will 
keep on until we have rescued our friends.” 


“All right! All right! ” said the Chipmunk solemnly. 



“ I wouldn’t give a wormy chestnut for your lives, but 
that’s your choosing, not mine. Let me tell you one thing 
—don’t forget that I warned you.” 


“Thank you just the same for your advice,” said the 
General, “ but we must go on.” 

“All right!” muttered the. Chipmunk. “But remember 






IN THE WILDWOOD 


23 


I warned you.” And shaking his head wisely he scam¬ 
pered off into the thick weeds. 

The little soldiers rolled themselves up in their tiny 
blankets almost immediately after supper and almost be¬ 
fore the sun had disappeared over the western hills they 
were sound asleep, for they were to be up and well on the 
march before daylight again would appear. 





Chapter Five 

THE QUEEN OF THE WILD MEN 

A LTHOUGH the wild men who had captured the 
Lady of Fashion and the Poet were good to them, 
the two Teenie Weenies nevertheless were much alarmed 
as to what might happen, for the wild men kept their cap¬ 
tives’ hands securely tied, and they watched them closely 
at all times. 

When the wild men brought the two Teenie Weenies 
to the island where the savages lived, the captives were 
the center of much interest. 

The Sabo men and women came swarming down to 
the water’s edge from all directions. They shouted and 
jabbered in a language the Lady of Fashion and the Poet 
had never before heard. Some came gliding out of the 
tall grass, while others peered from behind bushes and 
pebbles, quite as though they were a little afraid of the 

two helpless Teenie Wee¬ 
nies. 

The women were curi¬ 
ous little people. They 
were dressed in short 
dresses which came down 
to their knees and the 
cloth was woven out of 
thistledown and was 



24 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


25 


wonderfully soft. The women dressed their hair in a 
strange manner. The Lady of Fashion could hardly 
keep from laughing at them, for it was coiled up to a 
point high in the air, shaped much like an ice cream cone. 
Most of the men were dressed in frogskin trousers, while 
the children wore bits of cloth about their waists. 

The men and women gathered around and carefully 
examined the clothes of the two Teenie Weenies, espe- 
ially the Poet’s glasses, which were considered very won¬ 
derful by the wild little people. 

After a time the Lady of Fashion and the Poet were 
led along a path toward the center of the island, followed 
by a great crowd of Saboes. Presently one of the wild men 
who was walking ahead suddenly dropped to his knees 
and kissed the ground. Looking up, the two Teenie 
Weenies saw a very big turtle with a very short, fat 
woman sitting on its back. A man who walked beside 
the turtle with a hook in his hand, gave the turtle a sharp 
blow on the nose and the big fellow pulled his head into 
his shell and stopped. 

“Well!” exclaimed the Lady of Fashion. “I wonder 
who this fine lady can be.” 

“Why, why, this must be a sort of queen,” answered 
the Poet. “ Maybe she is the queen of the wild men.” 

The Poet had guessed correctly. The fat lady on the 
turtle was no other than Her Royal Highness, Queen 
Mooie, ruler of the wild men. 



Chapter Six 

THE STORM 


B EFORE the sun had time to peep over the eastern 
hills the third morning, the little army was on the 
march. All day the soldiers tramped along, stopping 
every now and then to rest a few minutes beneath the 
shade of a friendly dandelion or burdock. All along the 
line of march many bugs, ants and birds gathered by the 
roadside to cheer the brave little army as it trudged by. 

“ General,” said the Turk, as he slid off the back of the 
airplane, “ it looks to me as though we were going to have 
a storm and I would suggest that you lose no time in find¬ 
ing a dry place to house the army.” 

“All right,” answered the General, “ I’ll order the In¬ 
dian to ride ahead and select a place to camp.” 

Even as the General spoke, the little soldiers heard the 
distant rumble of thunder, and the Indian, putting spurs 
to his mouse, quickly bounded away in search of a camp. 
Presently he returned with the good news that he had 
found a fine place to weather the storm. 

A hollow log had been selected for the camp and the 
little men soon pulled the cannon and army wagons into 
the dark hole. In a short time the storm broke with great 
fury and it was a mighty good thing that the little army 
was protected by the hollow log, for the burdock leaves 
26 


















































































28 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


under which the Teenie Weenies always sought shelter 
from the rain would have been a poor place in such a big 
storm. The poor mice who pulled the army wagons trem¬ 
bled in terror at the loud peals of thunder. The Dunce 
shook so much with fright he almost loosened the buttons 
of his uniform. 

The storm passed quickly and the General ordered 
the army to be on its way, but the marching was hard and 
the men made slow progress, for the ground was muddy. 
The army marched around most of the mud holes, but one 
was too long and they were forced to wade through the 
thick mud. Most of the soldiers got over safely, but one 
of the wagons stuck in the mud and to make things 
worse, one of the back wheels was broken in trying to 
pull it out. 

“This is a pretty pickle!” growled the Old Soldier, 
sliding off his mouse at the edge of the puddle. “ We’ll 
have to work fast to get this wagon out before dark.” 

“ We might just as well unload the wagon, for we will 
never be able to pull it out while it’s loaded,” said the 
General. 

As the mud was quite deep, several of the soldiers 
were Ordered to put on bathing suits and carry the bag¬ 
gage to solid gound. After much hard work the wagon 
was finally pulled out of the mud, although it took half 
the army and six of the mice to do it. As it was quite late 
in the afternoon, the army went into camp, while the Turk 
and the Old Soldier set to work to mend the broken 
wheel. 





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Chapter Seven 

A SUSPENSION BRIDGE 


T HE General fumed and fussed over the delay caused 
by the broken wheel. 

“ It’s just one thing after another,” he grumbled. “ If 
it isn’t one thing it’s something else.” 

“Well, General, it won’t do a bit of good to worry,” 
said Tess Bone, one of the Red Cross Nurses. “We’ll have 
to do the best we can and that’s all anybody can do— 
even a Teenie Weenie can’t do more.” 

“ Of course, of course,” answered the General, as he 
paced up and down before his tiny tent. “ I know it 
doesn’t do a bit of good to worry, but we must hurry if we 
ever expect to rescue the Lady of Fashion and the Poet.” 

The anxious General had the army up before daylight 
the next morning. They ate a hurried breakfast and were 
well on the way before the sun came up. In fact, the 
Dunce marched nearly an hour before he was fully 
awake. 

The big rain of the day before had left many puddles 
along the way and the little army often had to splash 
through them. 

With the help of the scouts, the army was able to find 
the best roads, for the Indian and the Cowboy, mounted 
on mice, rode ahead and picked out the best path. The 
29 


30 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


Turk was of much help, too, in picking out the best roads, 
for he was able to see a great distance from the back of 
his bird airplane. 

“ General,” said the Cowboy one afternoon as he rode 
up to the commander of the little army, “I believe there’s 
more trouble ahead of us.” 

“What!” shouted the General. “Great guns, now 
what’s the trouble?” 

“Well, sir, there’s a stream of water and I’m afraid 
we’ll be forced to march a long way out of our road before 
we can find a place shallow enough to cross. I talked to 
a field mouse who seemed to be familiar with the coun¬ 
try, and he said there was no place where the stream 
could be crossed for many miles in each direction.” 

“ I hope, sir, you were careful not to say where you 
were going,” said the General. “We are now nearing the 
land of our enemies and we are liable to meet with a spy 
at almost any time.” 

“I was mighty careful, sir, and told him nothing that 
might be used against us,” answered the Cowboy. 

The General ordered theTurk to fly up and down the 
stream on a scouting trip while the army stopped for 
lunch. Late in the afternoon the Turk reported to the 
General that they would have to take a two days’ march 
out of their road to a place where the stream could be 
crossed. The army pushed on and shortly after dark 
stopped near the stream, where camp was made for the 
night. 

The next morning the Doctor, the Old Soldier, Paddy 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


31 


Pinn and the General gathered on the banks of the raging 
stream to see what plan could be made for crossing the 
water. 



The banks were very steep and the water was quite 
too swift to ford, although the stream was only two feet 
wide (in our measurement). It was finally determined 





















32 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


that there was nothing to do but build a bridge. 

“We can throw a sort of suspension bridge across the 
stream,” said the Old Soldier, who was quite an engineer. 
“ It will take us about a day and a half to do the work, 
but we will save time, for it would take fully two or three 
days to march to a place where we could cross without a 
bridge.” 

The war council thought the Old Soldier’s idea a good 
one and the General ordered the men to start work at 
once. Pulleys and ropes were brought out of the army 
wagons and some big logs for supports were cut from a 
bush near by. Several cattails, which grew near the 
stream, were sawed up into logs for the floor of the bridge. 
The bird airplane carried the workmen and ropes to the 
other side of the stream, where work was soon started on 
a bridge fifty-two Teenie Weenie feet long. 






Chapter Eight 

A BADLY FRIGHTENED ARMY 

TT took a lot of hard work to build the big bridge. Eyery 
, 4 - single Teenie Weenie worked with might and main. 
Even the mice who pulled the wagons and cannon, 
helped the work along by dragging the heavy logs, up to 
the place where the bridge was being built. 

The little army was a full day and a half building the 
bridge and when the task was finished the wagons were 
loaded, the mice hitched to them, and led by the General, 
the army marched safely across the bridge. 

A big squirrel who lived in a tree near by was hired to 
watch the bridge. 

“ We may want to get across this stream in a hurry,” 
the General told the squirrel. “If the wild men should push 
us back to this stream, and the bridge is destroyed, we 
certainly will be in a pretty pickle.” 

“ I’ll guard it with my life,” answered the squirrel, who 
had been promised ten sunflower seeds and four hickory 
nuts for his work. 

The army once more took up the march and presently 
they drew nearer and nearer the forest. Great bushes 
overhung the path along which the soldiers marched. 
Tall, bright-colored toadstools grew by the wayside and 
everything was dark and mysterious. 

33 


34 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


At noon the army was halted for lunch. The little sol¬ 
diers sat on the soft moss under a big fern and each man 
ate the grain of boiled rice and bit of dried raisin which 
he had tucked into his tiny haversack that morning. 


When the men had eaten, the General ordered them 



to fall into line and stepping in front of them he said: 
“ Men, I have been informed by our aviator and by our 
scouts that we are rapidly drawing near the land of the 
wild men, so from now on straggling will not be permit¬ 
ted. Soldiers wandering away from the army run the 









IN THE WILDWOOD 


35 


chance of being captured and we will soon have need of 
all our brave men.” 

The General’s talk impressed the little soldiers, and 
the Dunce and Gogo, who often wandered away from the 
line of march, were very much “on the job’’all afternoon. 

As the army marched beneath a bush, late in the day, 
it suddenly came face to face with a small garter snake 
that lay near a big stone. 

“O-O-O-O-O-oh, j-j-j-imminieC-c-c-c-christmas!” 
screamed the Dunce. 

The mouse on which the General rode gave one fright¬ 
ened look at the snake and quickly ran up the bush, 
dumping the dignified General off on his Teenie Weenie 
head. The rest of the army fled in all directions, in spite 
of the Old Soldier, who tried with all his might to stop the 
frightened soldiers. The snake was almost as badly 
scared as the army and it wriggled into a hole near by 
with remarkable speed. 

“ Well, this is a fine army, I must say! ’ growled the 
General when the Old Soldier had finally got the soldiers 
back in line. “ If you men run at the sight of a little snake, 
what will you do when you face real wild men? ” 

“Pardon me, sir,” said Gogo, saluting the General. 
“ We-all don’t mind fightin’ the wild men, but—we-all 
done object to bein’ et.” 

“ Forward, march! ” shouted the General, and the little 
army moved on towards the wild men’s land. 



Chapter Nine 

THE CAPTIVES ATTEND A DANCE 



Lady of Fashion and the Poet were being kept prisoners 
in one of the funny little houses of the wild men. 

Queen Mooie, ruler of the Saboes, was a very fat little 
lady, and like Sail fat people, big or little, she was very 
good-natured. When the Lady of Fashion and the Poet 
were brought before her, she was much interested in them 
and she made a long speech to the two Teenie Weenies in 
her strange language, but not one word could the little 
people understand. 

The house in which the Lady of Fashion and the Poet 
were kept was built up on posts about six Teenie Weenie 
feet (three inches in our measurement) from the ground. 
The houses were built up high as protection from the 
dampness, for the Saboes lived on a little island in the 
heart of a big swamp, and it also protected the little peo¬ 
ple from bugs. The floor of the house was made of sticks 
arid the roof and sides were covered with a peculiar 
swamp grass. A flat stone about the size of a half dollar 
was placed on the floor, on which the wild men built a tiny 
fire to keep themselves warm in winteir, and a small hole in 
the roof provided a chimney for the smoke. 

36 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


37 


Twice a day the wild men brought the two Teenie 
Weenies delicious pieces of smoked frog ham, with many 
tiny rice cakes, and every other day the two prisoners 
were given a blackberry. 

One night shortly after the Lady of Fashion and the 
Poet had been brought to the wild men’s village, the two 
Teenie Weenies heard the beating of a drum. For what 
seemed hours the little prisoners listened to the tumtum, 
tumtum, tumtum, of the drum. There was no use asking 
the wild man who guarded them just outside their door, 
for he couldn’t understand them, so there was nothing to 
do but listen to the tumtum, tumtum, tumtum, and won¬ 
der what it was all about. 

Presently one of the wild men 
climbed up the ladder to their house 
and motioned the two Teenie Weenies 
to follow him. He led them beneath a 
bush near by, where a lot 
of wild men were dancing 
about a great fire. The 
men sang a queer sort of 





38 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


song as they danced, while one strange-looking fellow, 
who was a sort of witch doctor, rattled a huge seed pod 
fastened to the end of a forked stick. The wild men per¬ 
formed this strange dance once a month, as they believed 
it would keep bad luck away from their tribe. 

The Queen of the wild men sat near the fire on the 
back of her turtle, while the rest of the Saboes stood in a 
circle about the dancing men. The fire had been built in 
a deep hole on top of a large stone and when the stone 
was almost red-hot, the wild men scraped the fire all out 
with long sticks. 

Then they lined the hole in the stone with sassafras 
leaves, into which they threw four large frog hams and 
then covered them over with several big leaves. Sand 
was then thrown onto the leaves, covering the hams 
tightly in the hot hole. 

The wild men built a fire all around the outside edge 
of the stone, and while the hams cooked they again took 
up the wild dance. When the hams were baked they 
were taken out and a piece was served to each person 
and the Lady of Fashion and the Poet both enjoyed the 
delicious meat. 

After everyone had eaten of the ham, the Queen 
ordered the two Teenie Weenies to be taken back to their 
prison, but although it was very late, the Lady of Fashion 
and the Poet could hear the loud shouts of the wild little 
people for many hours. 



Chapter Ten 

HELP FROM A GROUND ROBIN 


T HE army was now in the very heart of the great 
forest and it took a lot of hard work to get the heavy 
wagons and cannon through the jungle. At times a path 
had to be chopped through the tall grass and all this 
had to be done as silently as possible, for the army was 
now likely to run across the wild men at any time. 

“ I don’t want these wild men to know that we are in 
the neighborhood,” the General warned the troops. “ It 
is much better to surprise them, and, besides, there is no 
telling just what they may do to the Lady of Fashion 
and the Poet if they discover that we have come to 
rescue them.” 

The path the army now followed was so rough that 
little headway could be made and the General had to 
order a halt every now and then to rest the mice and 
men. During one of these stops the General fell into con¬ 
versation with a pert-looking little ground robin who had 
hopped onto the limb of a bush near by. 

“Do you know just where these wild men live?” 
asked the General. 

“ I’ll say I does,” answered the robin, who used very 
bad grammar. “I knows more about ’em than I wants 
'39 


40 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


to. The nasty little scalawags! These wild men get most 
all the seeds hereabouts and it’s all an honest bird can 
do to scratch out a bare living.” 

“Could you guide us for a few days?” put in the 
General. 


“ Gracious! ” tittered the bird, “ you’d never reach the 
wild men’s place in a few days with all those wagons 
and mice. They live on an island. You’ll have to have a 
boat or somethin’ to carry you over the water.” 

“I have heard that they live on an island,” said the 
General, “but I mean could you show us the way to the 
water where we would be nearest to the island? ” 




IN THE WILDWOOD 


41 


“ Of course I could,” answered the bird; “ that is, pro¬ 
vidin’ it would be worth my time.” 

“We will pay you,” said the General. “We’ll give you 
six sunflower seeds for your work.” 

“Make it six and a half seeds and I’ll do it,” cried 
the bird. 

The General agreed and the bird hopped along ahead 
of the army, jumping onto a bush occasionally to point 
out the best path. After a couple of hours’ march, the 
army came out onto a sandy beach, where the General 
called a halt. 

“ This is the place and over there is the island,” cried 
the bird, nodding his head towards the water. 

The Teenie Weenies looked across the water and they 
could see the dim outlines of the island. 

The ground robin was paid his six and a half sunflower 
seeds and in a short time the tired little soldiers put up the 
tiny tents and made a most cozy little camp. They named 
it camp Bitem, because of the many mosquitoes about the 
place. 

As the General did not wish a fire to be built for fear 
the wild men might see the light, the little army made its 
dinner on two sliced strawberries and a few grains of rice. 
No lights were lit that night in the camp and a strong 
guard watched carefully throughout the silent hours, 
which were disturbed only by the sentinels as they killed 
mosquitoes with the butts of their rifles or stabbed them 
with their bayonets. 

Early the next morning the men set to work building 



42 


THE TEENTE WEENIES 


a raft which was to be used in carrying the army across 
the water to the wild men’s island. 

A great many logs had to be cut, trimmed and brought 
to the water’s edge. The Cowboy hitched one of the 
strongest mice to the heavy logs and one by one they 
were hauled up to the workmen, who labored for nearly 
three days before the raft was done. 


While the men were at work on the raft, the Turk flew 
over the wild men’s island in search of a good place for 



the army to land and at the same time he kept an eye 
open for the Lady of Fashion and the Poet. He flew as 
near as he could to the wild men’s village without being 
seen, but he Could see no signs of the two Teenie Weenies. 

“I think the wild men have the Lady of Fashion and 
the Poet locked up in one of their houses,” the Turk told 
the General when he slid off the bird’s back at the army 
camp. “ I noticed one of the houses was closely guarded 
and I think we shall find them there.” 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


43 


“We’ll soon find out,” answered the General, “for the 
army will be on the wild men’s island in a mighty short 



time.” Taking the turk by the arm, the General showed 
him where the raft was being built. 













Chapter Eleven 

THE POET LEARNS SABO 



fully listened to the wild men’s strange language and in 
a short time he was able to speak a few of their words. ; 

“Jinks, but it is hot in this shanty!” he said to thfe 
Lady of Fashion one morning as he wiped his forehead 
with his Teenie Weenie handkerchief and looked out 
through the tiny hole that served as a window in the 
house in which they were held prisoners. 

“ If the Queen would just let us go out and take a little 
exercise once in a while it would help a lot,” suggested 
the Lady of Fashion fanning herself with a dry leaf. 
“ Why don’t you ask the Queen? Maybe she will let us 
take a walk now and then.” 

“I’ll do it,” answered the Poet, and looking out 
through the door he called to one of the wild men who 
stood near guarding the house. 

“ Gip bah wah hoo,” said the Poet, which means in 
Sabo, “We need exercise.” “Tell the Queen we want to 
get out of this shanty and take a walk once in a while,” 
he continued in the wild men’s language. 

The wild man grunted a couple of times and hurried 
off through the long grass towards the Queen’s house, 
44 



The 


Men attack the Teenie Weenies, as t 

NEARS THE ISLAND. —Chapter Thirteen. 


K K. 


Wild 
































































IN THE WILDWOOD 


45 


while the two Teenie Weenies sat down near the tiny door 
to await his return. 

Presently the wild man came back and told the Poet 
that the Queen said that the Teenie Weenies could take 
a walk whenever they liked. 

“ Well, we’ll take a walk right this minute,” announced 
the Poet, and he quickly helped the Lady of Fashion 
down the tiny ladder. 

The Teenie Weenies strolled along through the 
streets of the village while the two guards walked a few 
feet behind them. A great many children followed the 
Teenie Weenies about but, although the Lady of Fashion 
tried to make friends with them, they were very timid 
and stood off at a safe distance. 

At one place two wild women were preparing dinner 
and the Teenie Weenies were much interested in what 
they saw. One woman was baking rice cakes on a flat 
stone under which a fire was burning, while a young girl 
was grinding wild rice into flour by pounding the rice 
with a small rock in a hollowed-out stone. Near the house 
was a hollowed-out log with leaves spread over the top 
to keep out the dust, and one of the guards told the Poet 
that the log was filled with salt water in which the frog 
hams were pickled before they were smoked. 

The two Teenie Weenies spent a very pleasant after¬ 
noon looking about the village and it was quite late before 
they returned to their prison. 

“Oh, dear me,” said the Lady of Fashion as she threw 
herself down on one of the soft grass mats, “ I wonder 




46 


















































































































































































































M THE WILDWOOD 


47 


what is going to happen to us. Do you think the General 
will come with the army and rescue us? ” 

“ Of course he will,” answered the Poet. “All we have 
to do is to be patient and he’ll be here pretty soon.” 

“ But what if he doesn’t know that we have been cap¬ 
tured by these wild men? ” asked the Lady of Fashion 
anxiously. 

“ He will know all right,” said the Poet. “TheTeenie 
Weenies could see the footprints of the wild men in the 
sand where we were captured. That is enough to tell 
them what has happened to us.” 

“ Oh, dear, if they would only come! ” And the poor 
little lady began to sob. 

“ Here! Here! ” said the Poet anxiously, for he always 
felt mighty uncomfortable whenever the Lady of Fashion 
cried. “You must not cry. That won’t do a bit of good 
—just makes you feel bad and me worse.” 

“ I-I-I c-c-can’t help it,” sobbed the little lady. “ I want 
clean clothes, my hair needs washing, I want some of the 
Cook’s good apple butter, I want my toothbrush and I-I-I 
want to go home.” 

The Poet tried his best to comfort her and presently 
she cried herself to sleep. 



Chapter Twelve 

GOGO’S BRAVE ACT 


A FTER much sawing, chopping and splitting of logs, 
the Teenie Weenies finally finished building the raft 
which was to carry the little army to the wild men’s 
island. 

“ We’ve got to give the raft a trial before we get all 
loaded up with supplies,” said the Old Soldier when the 
work had been done. “ I’ll take it on the water this after¬ 
noon and give it a good try-out.” 

“ Quite right, quite right,” agreed the General as he 
sat down on a dry fern leaf. “We’ll have to send the army 
over in two trips; First the infantry can be taken over, 
then the raft can return for the artillery and some sup¬ 
plies.” 

“ Will the raft carry the cannon and the two mice that 
pull it? ” asked the Doctor. 

“Certainly,” said the Old Soldier. “It even ought to 
hold a good-sized paving brick.” 

“ Well, you can just bet I won’t get on that old raft un¬ 
til it has been thoroughly tried out,” announced Tess 
Bone as she arranged her dainty little cap and patted the 
Red Cross badge on her arm. 

“That’s the way I feel about it too,” added Sally Guff, 
the other nurse with the army. 

48 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


49 


“You don’t need to worry about this raft,” laughed 
the Old Soldier. “ It’s well made and every log is securely 
tied with strong, number forty thread.” 


Right after lunch the General ordered several of the 



soldiers to help the Old Soldier take the raft out for a trial 
trip. 

With the help of the big sweep on the stern of the raft 
and the use of several long poles, the little men slowly 











50 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


pushed the craft out into the stream. 

“Jumping beans!” exclaimed the Old Soldier as the 
raft slid easily out into the water. “That is what I call a 
good—” but the Old Soldier never finished the sentence, 
for at that very moment a big frog poked his head out of 
the water and hopped up onto the raft. 

“Oooooo, a-a-a s-s-submarine! ” gasped the Dunce. 
“ Jump for your lives,” and he leaped head first into the 
deep water. 

Most of the Teenie Weenies gave one look at the ugly 
frog, followed the Dunce into the water and swam as 
fast as they could for shore. The Old Soldier and Gogo 
were the only men to hold their ground, and if it had 
not been for these brave little fellows, the frog would 
have captured the transport without a battle. The Old 
Soldier drew his sword and attacked the frog, while Gogo 
struck the big fellow over the head with the boat pole. 
The frog, who had been attracted by the red coats of the 
soldiers, had hopped onto the raft in search of a meal, 
but he quickly slid back into the water at the first blow 
of the boat pole. 

The soldiers who had jumped into the water were 
much ashamed of their behavior and they all quickly 
returned to the raft and finished the trial trip they had 
started. 

“My brave lad,” said the General, grasping Gogo by 
the hand when the raft returned from its trip, “ in behalf 
of the Teenie Weenie army I want to thank you for your 
great bravery and I hereby promote you to first sergeant 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


51 


in the Teenie Weenie army.” 

“Oh, dat’s all right, General,” said Gogo, much con¬ 
fused at the honor thrust upon him. “There’s no fool 
frog what’s done gonna scare me when I’s mad, and I was 
certainly mad at that fool frog.” 

The raft proved to be thoroughly seaworthy, so the 
General gave orders for the men to be ready to board 
her just as soon as the wind and current were favorable 
for the trip to the wild men’s island. 



cO 


O 






Chapter Thirteen 

THE ATTACK 


I T was a long trip to the wild men’s island and the 
General wished to make the journey under cover of 
darkness. “ I want to land on the island before daybreak 
so we can surprise the wild men,” the General told his 
officers, who were gathered for a council of war. 

“The Sailor tells me,” continued the General, “that 
the wind and current are just right to sail the raft over 
to-night. I will take over the infantry on the first trip 
and then the raft can return for the artillery and the bag¬ 
gage and the rear guard, which the Old Soldier will com¬ 
mand.” 

The Cook had a great pot of rice cooked and he had 
stewed five lima beans. This great amount of food was 
portioned out, and three days’ rations were given to each 
soldier. 

A number of picks and shovels, with a lot of bags and 
a chest of bullets, was loaded onto the raft. 

Promptly at eleven o’clock the General, followed by 
several men, marched onto the raft and some of the sol¬ 
diers with long poles quickly pushed out into the dark 
stream. 

The Sailor and the Cowboy handled the big sweep at 
the back of the raft, while the Policeman and the Scotch- 

52 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


53 


man pushed wherever they could with the long poles. 

No lights were allowed on the raft and the men were 
ordered to talk only in whispers, for the General wished 
to land on the island unknown to the wild men. 

M J-j-j -jimminie C-c-christmas!” stuttered the trem¬ 
bling Dunce, “I-I-I’m not a-a bit s-s-scared. Are you, 
G-g-gogo? ” 

“ Not v-v-very m-m-much,” answered the colored lad, 
trying to keep his knees from knocking together. “I 
done hope we-all—” 



But at that minute, the raft struck something with such 
a bang it nearly upset most of the little soldiers. In fact, 
the Scotchman would have tumbled into the water if the 
Cowboy hadn’t caught him. 

The raft had struck the limb of an old tree that lay in 
the water and to the alarm of the General it stuck fast. 

“This is terrible. Perfectly terrible,” groaned the Gen¬ 
eral, glancing towards the eastern sky. “ It will soon be 
daylight and the wild men will see us if we are delayed 
here.” 



54 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


The men worked with might and main to free the raft, 
but it was stuck tight to the snag and before they man¬ 
aged to get it free it was broad daylight. 

“The wild men have very likely seen us by this time,” 
said the General, peering towards the island. “So in¬ 
stead of our surprising them, they probably will surprise 
us, but we have got to land. Examine you rifles and see 
that they are in condition to use, for we are likely to have 
a fight.” 

“Look there!” cried the Sailor, pointing towards the 
shore, for the raft was now only a short distance from the 
island. “ There’s something behind that stick.” 

“ Maybe it’s a wild man,” suggested the Dunce, turn¬ 
ing a trifle pale. “ Don’t you think we had better go back, 
General? ” 

“We intend to go on,” said the General, glancing 
scornfully at the frightened Dunce, “ but if you want to 
you can jump into the water and swim back.” 

“I-I-I think I’ll stay here,” said the Dunce as he 
thought of the many frogs and turtles that might snap 
him up if he tried to swim back. 

As the raft drew near the shore, several arrows whis¬ 
tled over the soldiers’ heads and instantly a number of 
wild men sprang up from behind a stick that lay on the 
shore and began shooting at the raft. 

“Make ready, men!” shouted the General, drawing his 
sword. “ Shoot over the wild men’s heads when I give the 
word to fire. We don’t want to hurt any of them if we can 
avoid it.” 



IN THE WILDWOOD 



little soldiers never heard the foolish fellow, for they stood 
ready, awaiting the General’s order to fire. 








Chapter Fourteen 

ON THE WILD MEN’S ISLAND 

“T'XELIVER this note at once to the Old Soldier,” said 
■L' the General, as he handed the following letter to 
the army aviator: 

Commander of the rear guard of the Teenie Weenie Army, 
Camp Bitem, on the Swamp Road; 

My dear Captain: 

We have had a battle with the enemy and our brave men 
have put them to rout. 

Our transport met with an accident and it was broad day¬ 
light before we landed on the island. 

The wild men attacked us as we neared the shore and sent 
a shower of arrows at us. 

I ordered my men to return the fire, and at the first crack 
of their rifles the wild men were greatly scared and ran off 
into the tall grass; I believe that it is the first time the wild 
men have ever heard a rifle shot. 

We have taken possession of a high bank where I have 
ordered the men to begin work on a trench. 

The raft is now on its way to your camp, and I want you 
to rush over the cannon and baggage as soon as possible, for 
I fully expect the wild men to attack us before long. 

I am sending this note by our brave aviator so you can 
have things ready to load on the raft when it arrives. 

Respectfully yours, 

THE GENERAL, 

Commander in Chief of the Teenie Weenie Army. 

P. S.—I forgot to say that none of my men was hurt in 
56 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


57 


the battle except the Dunce, who was badly scared by being 
shot through the hat. 

“Yes, sir,” saluted the Turk, and springing onto the 
back of the airplane he quickly flew out of sight over the 
water. 


When the Old Soldier received the General’s message. 



he set to work at once breaking camp and when the raft 
arrived the artillery was quickly loaded. The raft made 
two trips during the day and most of the necessary bag¬ 
gage was taken over to the island. 

A line of trenches was considered necessary by the 
General, who ordered Sergeant Gogo to direct the work 
and that brave little chap had the trenches done in a re¬ 
markably short time. 





58 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


Nothing more was seen of the wild men, but the closest 
watch was kept, for there was no telling when they might 
appear again. 

The little soldiers were much too excited to sleep and 
most of them sat about the tiny camp fire until a late hour 
talking of the day’s experience, but one by one they finally 
rolled up in their tiny blankets and slept, while the guards 
paced back and forth, ever watchful for prowling wild 
men. 



Chapter Fifteen 

A COUNCIL OF WAR 


F OR several days the army spent their time building 
trenches and making a comfortable camp, while the 
army scouts learned all they could about the wild men 
and the lie of the land. 

The Red Cross tent had been set up and the tiny cots 
looked very pretty, with their clean white sheets. Fortu¬ 
nately, there had been little use for them, as the army had 
been unusually healthy, the only exception being the 
Chinaman, who had been badly bitten by a pollywog, or 
tadpole, while he was taking a swim in the river. 

There had been very little excitement in camp for 
some time. Not a single wild man had been seen since 
the morning the army had landed on the raft and the sol¬ 
diers had nothing much to do while off guard duty but to 
kill mosquitoes, which were thick about the camp. 

Early one morning the Turk was called to the Gener¬ 
al’s tent, where he remained for some time. 

“Somethin’ doin’, I’ll bet,” thought the Dunce, who 
was on guard duty at the time in front of headquarters. 

Something really was doing, for the Turk was ordered 
to fly out at once and make a careful map of Sabo Island. 
The Turk hurried to his tent, where he supplied himself 
with paper and pencils and a pair of tiny field glasses. 
59 


60 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


The army airplane was dining on a fat worm when the 
Turk arrived, so he sat down and waited until the bird had 
eaten his breakfast. 

“ We’ve got to go out and make a map of the wild men’s 
island,” said the Turk. 

“All right,” answered the bird, “ I’m ready,” and hop¬ 
ping onto the ground he squatted down while the Turk 



climbed up on his fat back. 

The Turk headed the bird to a big tree which grew on 
the river bank near the island and in a few minutes the 
airplane settled easily on the topmost branch. The great 
blue river lay far beneath the Turk and with the help of 
his field glasses he was able to make a good map of the 
island and the surrounding country. 

When he returned to the Teenie Weenie camp the 




he Teenie Weenies pull the captured Wild Men out of 
THE BOTTLE .—Chapter Sixteen . 














































































































/ 





















































* 



■ 



























\ 1 * 



















. 





* / 

. • •- 







IN THE WILDWOOD 


61 


General immediately called a council of war and the lit¬ 
tle aviator was asked to explain the map in detail. 

“ Well” began the Turk, “the circle marked Camp Bitem 
is the place where we camped and built the raft and the 
dotted line is the course we took to our present camp. The 
wild men have a sort of camp or fort, I couldn’t just ex¬ 
actly make out what it was, but anyhow they are gath¬ 
ered in some force on the only cleared ground between 
their village and our camp.” 



“ We couldn’t march through the grass and trees and 
cut the wild men’s camp off from the village, could we? ” 
asked the Old Soldier. 

“No, sir, I don’t think so,” answered the Turk, “for I 
do not believe anyone could possibly get through the 
grass and trees.” 

“Well, that’s too bad,” muttered the General. “I 
wanted to get those wild men out of that place with as lit¬ 
tle trouble as possible, but it looks as though we would 
have to take their fort by storm.” 





62 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


All the Teenie Weenie officers gathered in the Gener¬ 
al’s tent listened solemnly to their commander’s words, 
for they knew it would be mighty serious if they were 
forced to charge the wild men’s fort. 









Chapter Sixteen 

WILD MEN BOTTLED UP 


I DONE got ’em bottled up! I done got ’em bottled 
up!” shouted Gogo, the little colored Teenie Weenie, 
as he ran panting up to the General’s tent. 

“What’s bottled up? What’s all the excitement 
about? ” asked the General, popping his head through 
the opening of his tent. 

“Why I-I-I done ketched one of the wild men and 
turned him ovah to the guard and I done got three mo’ 
corked up in a bottle.” 

“ Great Guns! This is exciting. Tell me about it,” cried 
the General. 

“ Well, you see it’s dis way,” said Gogo, sitting down 
on a pebble and mopping his head with his tiny handker¬ 
chief. “ I done took a walk out beyond the picket lines yon¬ 
der. I knew I had no business wanderin’ out dere, but I 
jus’ kept on and pretty soon I run across a big bottle 
a-layin’ on its side. 

“ I was kind of ’spicious about dat bottle, fo’ I done see 
through de glass where some dry grass had done been 
fixed up fo’ a bed, mighty like some one been sleepin’ 
dere. 

“ ‘ Gogo,’ I says to myself, ‘some one been sleepin’ heah 
in dis bottle and it ain’t none of de Teenie Weenies, fo’ 

63 


64 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


none of dem has been out heah dis 
far.’ Den I made up my mind that 
it mus’ be some of dem scalawag 
wild men and I reckon dey mus’ 
stayed in dis bottle when dey was on 
guard duty watchin’ our army. 

“‘But why did dey-all stay in 
dis heah bottle? ’ I says to myself. 
‘ It’s not cold nights.’ But jus’ den a 
big mosquito cam’ a-buzzin’ and a-buzzin’ round and den 
I knew dat the wild men been a-stayin’ in dat bottle fo’ to 
keep de mosquitoes from bitin’ ’em. 

“ I says to myself, ‘ Some of dese wild men will be cornin’ 
’round heah pretty soon and maybe I can done cotch ’em 
and extinguish myself.’ ” 

“ Distinguish yourself,” corrected the General. 

“Yes, sah,” continued the little colored fellow. “Well, 
I done crawl under a leaf and waited. I done wait fo’ a 
long time, but pretty soon I done see fo’ of de wild men 
come sneakin’ along and pretty soon dey done make right 
fo’ de bottle. Three of ’em done crawl in de bottle and 
one of ’em done squat down outside by de openin’ of de 
bottle kinda like he was guardin’. 

“ ‘By de great corn pone,’ I says, ‘if a couple of de Tee- 
nee Weenies was heah we could done cotch dese scala¬ 
wags.’ 

“ Pretty soon I thought to myself, ‘ Why don’t you ketch 
’em yourself? ’ So I done sneaked out up behind de wild 
man what was guardin’ de mouth of de bottle and done 




IN THE WILDWOOD 


65 


cracked him on de head with de butt of my gun. I didn’t 
hit very hard— just hard enough to stun him a little — 
and den I grabbed a cork dat was layin’ near by and stuffed 
it into de bottle and braced it with a stick of wood so the 
scalawags couldn’t get out. I then picked up de wild man 
I had knocked down and brought him into camp and 
dat’s all.” 

“A very brave deed, sergeant,” said the General. “And 
I will immediately send out a squad of men to bring your 
prisoners into camp.” 

The Old Soldier was ordered to take a squad of men 
and go after the prisoners, while the Doctor was sent to 
dress the bump on the head of the wild man that Gogo 
had knocked down. After a great deal of work the sol¬ 
diers managed to pull the three wild men out of the bottle 
and when they were brought into camp they were se¬ 
curely tied to a strong blade of grass. 

lU, 



Chapter Seventeen 

THE DUNCE IN DISGRACE 


“TT THY are you making such a fine camp here, Gen- 
VV eral? ” asked the Doctor, as he noticed that the 
Teenie Weenies continued to improve the camp. “ Won’t 
we have to move on pretty soon if the wild men do not 
attack? ” 

“ We’ll stay right here for some time,” answered the 
General, taking off his tiny sword and laying it on the 
table which stood in front of his tent. “We are within 
striking distance of the wild men’s village, so the aviator 
tells me, and we’ll use this camp for our base of opera¬ 
tions.” 

“ General,” said the Cook, saluting the commander of 
the Teenie Weenie army, “ I beg your pardon, but there 
is something I must tell you.” 

“ What is it, sir? ” said the General, returning the 
Cook’s salute. 

“Why sir, there’s a thimble missing from among my 
cooking things. I put two beans to soak in it last night 
and when I went to look at them a little while ago the 
beans were lying on the ground and the thimble was 
gone.” 

“That’s most strange,” said the General; “I’ll have the 
Cowboy look into the matter and see if he can find out 
what has happened to the thimble.” 

66 





Drives 

—Chap, 



fro: 





























IN THE WILDWOOD 


67 


“Thank you, sir,” said the Cook, “I’m a little short of 
cooking pans and kettles and I’d like to have it back.” 

The Cowboy was ordered to look for the lost thim¬ 
ble, but before he had fairly started the search, the thimble 
turned up in a most peculiar way. Down the main street , 
of the camp towards the General’s tent marched the 
Dunce with the lost thimble over his head and followed 
by a laughing crowd of soldiers. 

“ What’s the idea of this? ” asked the General as the 
Dunce stopped before him. 

“ Safety first,” answered the Dunce. 

“ What do you mean by safety first? ” asked the Gen¬ 
eral, trying hard to keep from laughing at the ridiculous 
sight. 

“ W-w-well, you s-s-see,” began the Dunce, “ I thought 
this thimble would make a fine suit of armor, and protect 
me from the wild men’s arrows. I took it out back of camp, 
got some tools and cut a couple of holes for my arms to go 
through and another hole to see through—” 

“Yes, and spoiled a perfectly good thimble,” put in 
the General. 

“Jinks!” exclaimed the Dunce, “I never thought of 
that.” 

“ Of course you didn’t,” answered the General sternly. 
“You have a habit of doing your thinking afterwards, 
and that is a mighty bad habit.” 

“Quite right! Quite right!”cried a field mouse, who had 
been hanging around the camp for a few days. “ Quite 
right, I says. There’s always a time to think. One ought 



68 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


to do a heap of thinking before one acts, I says.” 

“Yes, you’re right,” put in the General, glaring at the 
mouse, who was very talkative. “ One ought to think a 



great deal and then he ought to say only about one half of 
what he thinks.” 

“Words of wisdom! Words of wisdom!” cried the 
mouse, never dreaming the General’s rebuke was aimed at 
him, and he strolled down the camp street quite pleased 
with himself. 








IN THE WILDWOOD 


69 


“ Now, Dunce,” said the General, “ I’m going to try to 
see if I can help you do a little thinking.” 

“Y-y-yes, s-s-s-sir,” answered the Dunce. 

“ I’m going to make you wear that thimble for the rest 
of the day and that ought to help you to remember that 
you have spoiled a perfectly good cooking pot, just be¬ 
cause you didn’t happen to think.” 

All day long the poor Dunce was forced to walk up 
and down in front of the General’s tent, wearing the 
heavy thimble. It was a warm day and the thimble grew 
quite hot in the sunshine, so his punishment was pretty 
hard, but there is no doubt it did him a great deal of good. 



m 




Chapter Eighteen 


CONSULTING AN ENGINEER 

T HE General studied the map of the wild men’s island 
which the Turk had drawn, in the hope that he could 
figure out a way to attack the Saboes without storming 
their fort. In storming the fort, the General felt sure that 
many of his soldiers might be injured and he wished to 
rout the enemy with as little damage as possible. 

“ I have it! I have it! ” exclaimed the General one 
morning as he sat studying the tiny map. “We can hire 
a mole to tunnel under the wild men’s fort and then we 
can blow it up with a firecracker.” 

“Bully!” shouted the Old Soldier. “And before they 
get over the surprise of the explosion we can charge 
through the destroyed fort into the village.” 

“That’s the idea,” smiled the General. “We’ll go over 
to-morrow and engage the old mole who lives down by 
the river.” 

“Moles are great engineers,” said the Doctor, “and 
what they don’t know about underground digging isn’t 
worth knowing.” 

The next day the General and the Doctor, with an 
escort of four soldiers, set out on the journey to the mole’s 
home. 

“S-s-say, what is a m-m-mole anyhow?” asked the 
Dunce as the little party marched along. 

70 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


71 


“A mole? Why, a mole—let’s see, a mole—why a 
mole is a mole,” answered Gogo. 

“ I’ll tell you what a mole is like,” laughed the Doctor, 
who had overheard the Dunce’s question. “ A mole is an 
animal almost the size of a rat and he lives under the 
ground. He has very small eyes and ears, and he very sel¬ 
dom comes out in the day time, for it is pretty hard for him 
to see in the bright sunlight. He has very short and power¬ 
ful legs with which he can dig very fast. He lives on 
worms and grubs and roots, and he is usually very gruff 
and bad-tempered.” 

Presently the little party came to the place where the 
mole lived and the General ordered the soldiers to halt. 
They had stopped by the side of a steep bank and near 
the top was a hole under the roots of a tree, which was 
the front door of the mole’s home. 

“Dress up in line, men!” commanded the General, 
“ and when Mr. Mole comes to the door of his house I want 
you all to present arms, for we will have to use the greatest 
diplomacy in order to engage this fellow.” 

The General stepped up near the bank and called 
loudly several times into the hole and presently a long 
furry nose appeared in the opening. 

“ Well, what do you mean by awakening honest people 
out of a sound sleep? ” growled the mole. “ What is it? 
What do you want? ” 

“ I beg your pardon,” said the General as he lifted his 
hat and made a low bow; “ I’m awfully sorry I disturbed 
your rest, but having heard of your reputation as an engi- 



72 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


neer I have come to beg your services for the Teenie 
Weenie army. We want to engage you to dig a trench 


for us.” 

“I’ll work for four fat white grubs a day and not a 
grub less,” snapped the mole. 



“That’s quite satisfactory,” answered the General. 
“We are willing to pay whatever you ask, but I want you 
to know just what the work will be. We want you to dig 
a tunnel in the ground so we can explode a mine in it.” 

“ I don’t care a snap of my tail what kind of work it 
is; all I want is my pay,” growled the mole. 







IN THE WILDWOOD 


73 


“ When may we expect you? ” asked the General. 

“To-morrow at four o’clock, not a minute sooner or 
later,” answered the mole. 

“ Shall we have breakfast for you? ” asked the General. 

“ Why, certainly! Why, certainly! ” exclaimed the mole. 
“ How in the name of angleworms do you expect me to 
work without food? What do you suppose I’m workin’ 
for—pleasure? ” 

“ We’ll have a couple of nice young grubs for you,” said 
the General politely, although he was quite disturbed by 
the mole’s ungentlemanly manner. 

“ Two grubs and a couple of angleworms would make 
me work better,” suggested the mole. 

“You shall have them,” answered the General stiffly. 
“ Good day to you, sir.” Lifting his hat politely, he or¬ 
dered the soldiers to march back to camp. 





Chapter Nineteen 


THE OLD SOLDIER’S WAR MACHINE 
T exactly four o’clock the next morning the mole 



XX came into camp, and as the General had promised, 
his breakfast was ready. After the mole had eaten his 
grubs, he reported for work. The General showed the 
mole just where he wanted the tunnel to run and imme¬ 
diately the old fellow set to work. He burrowed his nose 
down into the soft ground and then pushed the loosened 
earth back with his powerful fore claws. He worked won¬ 
derfully fast and in less than a minute he had entirely 
disappeared into the ground. 

All day long the mole worked, coming out only for a 
few minutes at noon to eat his lunch, and at half past five 
in the afternoon he again appeared to announce that the 
tunnel had been finished. 

The General sent the Sailor into the tunnel to measure 
it, for he wanted to be quite sure that it reached a point 
just under the wild men’s fort. 

“ It’s just exactly eight hundred and fifty-eight feet 
long,” announced the Sailor when he crawled out of the 
tunnel a few minutes later. “ I could hear the wild men 
walking on the ground above, so it must stop right in the 
middle of the fort.” 


74 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


75 


“’Course it does,” snapped the mole. “ Don’t you sup¬ 
pose I know how to dig? ” 

When the mole had been paid for his work, he slipped 
off into the night without ever even thanking the Teenie 
Weenies for his pay. 

“Queer old surly fellow,” said the General as he 
watched the awkward mole waddle off. 

“ Yes, but you have to admit that he is a wonderful en¬ 
gineer,” observed the Old Soldier. 

“Well, gentlemen,” said the General turning to his offi¬ 
cers, “ we have got to move our lines forward. You see, 
we are about eight hundred and fifty feet from the wild 
men’s fort and it is quite necessary that trenches be built 
forward so we will not have too great a distance to charge 
when we explode the mine under the enemy’s fort.” 

The officers all agreed with the General and that very 
night several men were sent out, when it was quite dark, 
to start the work. 

The little soldiers had gone but a short distance when 
they were seen by the wild men, who sent a shower of 
arrows at them, and Gogo was slightly scratched on the 
arm, while one of the wild men’s arrows splintered the 
Old Soldier’s wooden leg, so the General ordered the work 
stopped for the time being. 

The Old Soldier was quite an engineer and when he 
had whittled out a new wooden leg, he set to work try¬ 
ing to scheme out some way by which the men could dig 
the trenches without being hit by the wild men’s arrows. 

“I have it,” he cried after he had puzzled over the mat- 



76 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


ter for a time.” We can make a big screen out of sticks, 
one that is quite arrow-proof.” 


“How are you going to move it?” asked the Turk. 
“ It will be too heavy for the men to carry.” 



a spool of thread among our supplies and all we have to 
do is to remove the thread and — ” 


“ Use the spool as a sort of wheel to roll the screen 
on,” put in the Cook. 

“ Right,” laughed the Old Soldier. “ We can push it 





























y 

/ 




»» 































































IN THE WILDWOOD 


77 


ahead of us on the spool and be quite safe from the wild 
men’s arrows.” 

The General ordered the screen made and at once, un¬ 
der the watchful eye of the Old Soldier, the men set to 
work building it. In a remarkably short time the screen 
was finished and early the next morning the Old Soldier, 
with six chosen men, started to push it toward the wild 
men’s fort. 



As soon as the wild men saw the screen coming to¬ 
ward them, they let fly a shower of arrows, but they either 
stuck fast in the screen or flew harmlessly over the sol¬ 
dier’s heads. 

“Great Guns!” cried die Old Soldier when the little 
party had pushed the screen quite a ways toward the wild 
men’s fort. “We forgot to bring along the picks and 
shovels.” 

“I’ll get ’em. Captain,” said the Dunce, saluting 
the Old Soldier and hardly waiting for the officer’s per- 



78 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


mission, the Dunce ran for the trench which they had 
just left, as fast as his legs would carry him. 

The Dunce grabbed up three picks and with the help 
of the Chinaman who volunteered to go along, the two 
brave Teenie Weenies ran for the screen amid the flying 
arrows which whizzed all about them. 

All day long the men worked hard, pulling the screen 
along as they dug back toward the Teenie Weenie trench, 
and at night, six other soldiers took up the work where the 
rest left off. Several days of hard labor finished the work 
and not one Teenie Weenie had been shot, thanks to the 
Old Soldier’s screen. 




Chapter Twenty 

THE DUNCE LOOKS FOR EXCITEMENT 


F ROM the new trenches the Teenie Weenies could see 
the wild men’s fort plainly. The little soldiers had 
to be very careful, however, for every time they showed 
themselves the wild men would let fly a shower of arrows. 
The soldiers thought it great fun to put their hats on 
sticks and push them out in sight of the wild men. At first 
this brought a tremendous number of arrows, but finally 
the wild men caught onto the trick and only an occasional 
arrow would fly at the exposed hat. 

The men took turns guarding the front trenches. It was 
very tiresome work sitting in the narrow ditch waiting 
for something to happen and most of the soldiers would 
have welcomed the order to storm the wild men’s fort. 

“I can’t see why the General doesn’t get busy and 
take the fort,” growled the Scotchman one afternoon. Sev¬ 
eral of the men, who were off duty, were lying in a mossy 
place under some big ferns, discussing the matter. 
“We’ve got everything ready for the attack, the men are 
more than anxious to go into action and we could lick 
the stuffin’ out of the Saboes.” 

“ Keep cool, Scotty; we’ll get a chance soon enough,” 
said the Turk, who was very quiet and always took things 
calmly. “The General knows what he’s about and when 
79 


80 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 



he gets his plans ready, we’ll get all the excitement we 
want.” 

“ Excitement! ” exclaimed the Dunce. 
“That’s me. I’ve got to have some ex¬ 
citement; I’m sick and tired of sittin’ 
around here without anything doin’.” 

“ Let’s get our guns and go out and 
see if we can’t shoot some dragon flies or 
mosquitoes,” suggested the Sailor. 

“Nah, that ain’t dangerous enough,” 
answered the Dunce. “I want to do 
something that will give me a thrill,” and 
getting up he slowly walked towards the 
tall grass near the Teenie Weenie camp. 

The General had given orders that 
none of the soldiers should leave camp, 
for the grass was so tangled and thick 
that it would be an easy thing to get lost 
and, besides, the savage wild men might 
be hiding behind the thick stalks of 
grass. 

“Jinks!” thought the Dunce as he 
peered into the dense grass, “ the Gen¬ 
eral wouldn’t scold me if I happened to 
stroll out there and capture a wild man.” 

After some minutes of thought, the 
Dunce hurried to his tent, got his gun 
and sneaked unseen out of camp into the 
dark grass. He stumbled along for some 




IN THE WILDWOOD 


81 


time without making much headway, for the stalks of 
grass grew close together and the dead leaves tangled 
about his feet at almost every step. Presently he came to an 
open spot near the edge of the island, where he found 
walking much easier, but he had gone only a short dis¬ 
tance when he suddenly saw four wild men ahead of him. 

“Throw up your hands—you’re surrounded!” shout¬ 
ed the Dunce, pointing his gun towards them. 

The wild men, not understanding the Teenie Weenie 
language, started running towards the Dunce with loud 
yells. 

The poor Dunce was so badly frightened he forgot to 
fire his gun and turning about he ran as fast as his short 
legs could carry him towards the Teenie Weenie camp. 

The army aviator, who happened to be scouting above 
the shore of the island, saw the Dunce being chased by 
the wild men. 

“Quick!” he shouted to the bird on which he flew. 
“ Fly just as close as you can to the Dunce and I’ll grab 
him as we sail by.” 

The bird flew straight for the ground and holding 
tight to its neck, the aviator grabbed the Dunce by the 
collar and snatched him from the very hands of the 
wild men. 

The Turk pulled the frightened Dunce up on the 
bird’s back and a few minutes later they landed safely 
in the Teenie Weenie camp. 

“Well, sir,” said the General when he had heard the 
Turk’s story of the rescue, “what were you doing out- 



82 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


side the camp without permission to go out? ” 

“I-I-I-I j-j-just wanted s-s-some excitement and I-I-I-I 
thought I’d go out and s-s-see if I-I-I couldn’t capture a 
wild man,” stammered the frightened Dunce. 

“ Well, did you capture any of them? ” asked the Gen¬ 
eral with a wink at the Old Soldier. 

“W-w-w-well, I-I surrounded f-f-four of ’em, but they 
wouldn’t stay surrounded and they started to chase me, 
so I-I-I had to r-r-run.” 

“Well, did you get any excitement?” smiled the 
General. 

“ Oh, yes, sir, I-I-I got more than I-I-I was looking for.” 

“Well, sir,” said the General, “I hope you got enough 
excitement to last you for a long time. You are guilty of 
an act of leaving camp without permission and I find it 
necessary to place you under arrest.” 

The poor Dunce was marched off between four sol¬ 
diers to the tiny guard house, where he was left to think 
over his disobedience. 




Chapter Twenty-One 

THE SCOUTS HAVE A NARROW ESCAPE 

G ENERAL, the men are getting restless. They want 
to get into action and it seems to me that we ought 
to hurry our plans for the attack,” said the Old Soldier. 
The two little officers were sitting at the tiny table in front 
of the General’s tent. 

“Yes, I believe you’re right,” answered the General 
thoughtfully. “The plans for the attack are almost ready, 
but I would like to get some more information about the 
wild men. I’d like to know just how many are guarding 
the fort, what sort of arms they have and a lot of other 
details. The Turk has been able to get much valuable 
information, but the grass is so tall around the fort that 
he has not been able to get very near in the airplane, so 
I’m afraid I’ll have to send the scouts out for the facts I 
want.” 

“That’s mighty dangerous,” said the Old Soldier, 
stroking his beard. “The jungle is full of the Saboes— 
they are swarming all through the grass, thicker than 
ants on a chocolate drop.” 

“Yes, I know it’s dangerous, but I believe the Cowboy 
and the Indian can get through unseen and bring back 
the information I want,” the General said. “ Either one 
of the little fellows is at home in the woods and grass. 

■.. ' ' 83 


84 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


They are both pastmasters in covering up their tracks. 
Why, I believe the Indian could walk through a lady’s 
powder box without ever leaving a single track,” and the 
General said it so earnestly there was no doubt but that 
he spoke the truth. 

Turning to the guard that stood near his tent, the 
General ordered him to bring the Indian and the Cow¬ 
boy. “Tell them it is important and that I wish them to 
report at once.” 

In a few minutes the two scouts appeared and, click¬ 
ing their tiny heels together, they saluted in the most 
approved military fashion. 

“You sent for us, sir?” said the Cowboy. 

“Yes,” answered the General, looking seriously at the 
sturdy little men. “I have a piece of work for you to do. 
First I want to tell you that it is mighty risky—in fact, it 
is extremely dangerous. I will not send you unless you 
are willing to go—you shall choose.” 

“We are ready to go,” answered the little scouts 
quietly, and their loyalty touched the General greatly. 

“ I want you to go to the wild men’s fort and get all 
the information you can,” said the General. “Find out 
how many men they have, what sort of weapons they use, 
note the condition of their fort and get some idea of the 
ground beyond the fort. Get all the facts you can and 
report to me as soon as possible.” 

“Yes, sir,” answered the scouts and, saluting, they hur¬ 
ried to their tent, where they buckled on their tiny pis¬ 
tols. Next they each secured a supply of dried minnow 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


85 


and half a boiled bean, which they stuffed into their 
pockets. 

They slipped quietly out of camp and after a long and 
tiresome trip they finally drew near to the wild men’s 
fort. They could hear the voices of the wild men now and 
then and the two Teenie Weenies were forced to steal 
along with the greatest care. Presently they crawled up 
to a place quite near the fort where they could see the 
wild men every now and then through the long grass. 
The scouts watched the wild men for several hours and it 
was quite late before the little fellows could find a chance 
to crawl away safely and unseen. 

Several times on their way back to the Teenie Weenie 
camp the scouts were forced to hide under leaves and dry 
grass to keep from being discovered, and once they had 
to lie for almost an hour in a hollow stick, as several wild 
men stopped near them to rest. 

“ It be heap much dark soon,” grunted the Indian as 
he peered through the grass at the sky. 

“ We can never get back to camp before night and we 
couldn’t possibly get through this jungle in the dark, so 
we’ve got to find some place to spend the night,” whis¬ 
pered the Cowboy. 

The two Teenie Weenies found a deserted bird’s nest 
in a bush near by, and, climbing up the bush, they soon 
made themselves comfortable for the night. 

Early in the morning the little scouts were awakened 
by voices, and looking over the edge of the nest, they saw 
several wild men coming towards the bush. The wild men 




























IN THE WILDWOOD 


87 » 


stopped beneath the bush, where they soon made a fire 
and cooked pieces of frog ham for their breakfast. 

The two Teenie Weenies had eaten what little food 
they had brought with them the day before and as they 
smelled the delicious meat cooking it made them as hun¬ 
gry as bears. There were too many of the Saboes for the 
two scouts to fight, so they could do nothing but lie quiet 
until the wild men had gone. In a short time the wild men 
finished their breakfast and after talking in their strange 
language for a few minutes they hurried away. 

When the wild men had disappeared into the jungle of 
tall grass near by, the two scouts carefully climbed out of 
the nest and set off in the direction of the Teenie Weenie 
camp. Several times they had to hide behind sticks and 
leaves when the wild men passed near them, and once, 
three of the savage little fellows came so close to the spot 
where the scouts lay hidden that they thought they would 
surely be discovered. It was almost evening before the 
Cowboy and the Indian reached camp and the little fel¬ 
lows reported at once to the General. They gave the 
Commander of the Teenie Weenie army such valuable 
news that he at once called in his staff for a council of war. 

The little officers talked for a long time and when they 
finally came out of the General’s tent, it was very plain to 
see that something was about to happen. Officers dashed 
about the camp giving orders, the Doctor and the two 
nurses busied themselves around the tiny hospital, while 
Paddy Pinn spent much time with his Teenie Weenie 
cannon. 



88 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


Three of the soldiers carried two big firecrackers into 
the tunnel the mole had made. In fact, everyone was busy 
and the whole camp teemed with excitement, wondering 
as to what was to happen next. 






Chapter Twenty-Two 

THE BATTLE 

O RDERS had been given to attack the wild men in 
the morning and most of the Teenie Weenie soldiers 
slept very little during the night. At daylight a thimble¬ 
ful of hot cocoa and a supply of bread was brought into 
the front trenches and while the little soldiers ate, the 
artillery kept up a heavy fire on the wild men’s fort. 

At last the order was given to charge and the excited 
Teenie Weenies climbed out of their trenches and dashed 
for the fort. 

Although the soldiers’ tiny knees knocked together 
and their teeth chattered with fright, 
they went into battle with great 
eagerness, cheered by the voices of 
several meadow mice and bugs, who 
stood out of range of the wild men’s 
arrows. 

It was a great victory. Probably 
the history of the battle can be better 
told by one who took part in it, so we 
shall hear the story from a letter writ¬ 
ten by Mr. Lover to his wife immedi¬ 
ately after the battle. The tiny letter 
89 





90 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


was written on a piece of very thin birch bark, about half 
the size of a postage stamp, but if you could see it under 
a powerful microscope you would read it, word for 
word, just as it appears on this page. 

My dear Bab: 

As the Indian is carrying the official news of the battle 
back to Shoehurst, you will know before you open this letter 
that we have won. It was wonderful and I will tell you all 
about it from the very first. The wild men's fort, which was 
made of strong sticks, lay in a narrow path guarding the only 
open road to the village, where the Lady of Fashion and Poet 
are held prisoners. In order to get to the village we had to 
capture the fort. We heard the night before that we were to 
storm the fort in the morning and believe me, we didn't sleep 
much; that is, I didn’t. I was as nervous as a cat in a dog 
house. 

Early in the morning the aviator flew over the fort and 
dropped pepper bombs. These bombs are made out of red 
pepper tied up in thin pieces of tissue paper and when they 
hit the ground they break and scatter the pepper all around. 
While the wild men were sneezing from the effects of the 
pepper, the artillery opened up and sent a lot of shot into 
the fort. 

Next, a big mine we had made under the fort was ex¬ 
ploded. There were two big firecrackers in it and, say, you 
ought to have seen the sticks fly up in the air when that mine 
went off! Right after the mine explosion we were ordered 
to charge and we jumped out of the trenches and started on 
the run for the fort. 

We were almost halfway there when the Sailor, who was 
carrying the flag, dropped with an arrow in his chest. The 
Dunce caught up the fallen flag and putting his hat on top of 
the staff, he yelled for us to follow. Everybody cheered, for 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


91 


we didn’t think the Dunce had enough nerve to do such a 
brave thing. 

The fort was badly wrecked by the explosion, so it wasn’t 
hard to climb over it to get at the wild men. Most of the 
Saboes were so scared they never tried to fight, but a few of 
them stood their ground. They were quickly subdued, how¬ 
ever. We captured fourteen men; five of them are wounded, 
but the Doctor has them in the hospital and he’ll fix them 
up all right. 

Four of our men were wounded, but the Sailor is the 
only one who was badly hurt. The Doctor says that he will 
pull through all right. 

We wanted to attack the wild men’s village, but the Gen¬ 
eral wouldn’t let us. He says we have got to take care of 
the wounded and make our lines safe before we can go far¬ 
ther. Some of the men seem to think that there will be very 
little fight left in the wild men, for they were pretty well 
scared by our attack. The Scotchman and I are doing 
guard duty; we have to guard the prisoners. We are using 
an old bottle for a prison and it certainly makes a good one; 
if we keep on getting prisoners we’ll soon have a bottleful. 

I do hope the General follows up the victory and goes 
right after these wild men, so we can end this war, for I 
want to get home to you and the children. 

Well, I’ll have to stop now as the Indian is about ready 
to start for Shoehurst. Tell the twins I have a nice string 
of blackberry seed beads for each of them and give them each 
a kiss for me. 

Affectionately, 

Your Husband. 

P. S.: The Cook and the Chinaman have just brought 
up a pot of cocoa and four hot beans! Hurrah! we’re go¬ 
ing to have a feast. 


Hubby. 



Chapter Twenty-Three 

THE RED CROSS 

T HERE was much confusion after the battle, for so 
many things had to be done, and done quickly. 
The lines had to be advanced and made safe against at¬ 
tack by the wild men. The prisoners had to be carefully 
guarded until they could be put into the grape juice bot¬ 
tle which was being used as a prison. 

Then, there were the wounded. Both Teenie Weenies 
and wild men had to be given the best of care. Just as soon 
as the battle was over, the injured were gathered up and 
carried tenderly to the Red Cross field hospital, where 
the Doctor and his two little nurses dressed their wounds. 
The Clown and the Policeman carried the wounded into 
the hospital on tiny stretchers and just as soon as the 
injured little fellows had medical care, they were put into 
clean beds. At first the injured wild men were much 
frightened, but when they were handled so tenderly by 
the Doctor and his lovely nurses, they became quite 
contented. 

The Doctor’s official report to the General gives the 
best idea of the work of the Red Cross after the battle, 
and it is printed here, word for word, from that tiny 
document. 


92 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


93 


TEENIE WEENIE RED CROSS FIELD HOSPITAL 
Commander in Chief, Report No. 14. 

Teenie Weenie Army. 

Sir: I herein give to you a full detailed report of the 
Red Cross work after the battle of Sabo: 



was removed after a hard operation, as the point had 
broken off between the third and fourth ribs. Eleven 
















94 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


stitches taken in wound. Patient in bad shape but 
will recover. 

Dunce—Shot in hand; slight wound; will be all 
right in few days. 

Gogo — Two small wounds in right leg and left arm. 
Cowboy — Scratch on cheek from spear thrust. 



Wild Men Injured 

No. 1 — Serious wound in neck from rifle bullet; removed 
bullet after much work; patient in bad shape. 

No. 2 — Bad bayonet wound in side; will recover. 

No. 3 — Piece of shell removed from back; nineteen 
stitches taken in wound; will get well. 

No. 4 — Painful scalp wound from being hit on head with 
butt of gun; five stitches taken in wound. 

No. 5 — Shot in shoulder; not dangerous. 

I wish to bring to your notice the good work of my staff. 






IN THE WILDWOOD 


95 


I commend them for their earnest and skillful help in taking 
care of the wounded. The work of bringing in the wounded 
was promptly done by the Policeman and the Clown in a man¬ 
ner that calls for the highest praise. 

Tess Bone and Sally Guff, my two excellent nurses, were 
of the greatest service. Their tenderness in handling the in¬ 
jured was of the highest order. 

I wish also to bring to your notice the kindness of Peter 
Meadowlark and Bouncing Ben, the jumping mouse. Peter 
Meadowlark did much towards keeping the patients in a good 
frame of mind by his daily songs. Every day he came to the 
hospital and sang for the wounded. 

Bouncing Ben kept the sick laughing for hours by his 
funny handsprings and somersaults. I owe much to these 
two kind-hearted fellows for the good condition of my pa¬ 
tients. 

Sincerely yours, 

Surgeon General, 

Teenie Weenie Army. 









Chapter Twenty-Four 

LET THERE BE PEACE 

A FTER the battle the front lines were moved quite a 
distance towards the center of the island, where 
the wild men’s village stood. A strong breastwork of 
sticks and grass was built and a most careful watch was 
kept at all times. Nothing was seen of the wild men 
except shadowy forms that every now and then dodged 
about among the stalks of big grass. They were surely 
in the tall grass, for the savage little fellows could slip 
about in the jungle almost unseen. 

It was quite certain that the General intended to move 
again in a short time, for everything was made ready 
for another battle. 

One morning the Scotchman, who was in the front 
lines, happened to see a wild man crawling along on his 
stomach towards a stick that lay in front of the Teenie 
Weenie breastwork. The tiny soldier raised his gun and 
waited, thinking the wild men were about to charge, but 
instead a blade of grass appeared above the stick and to 
it was tied a white rag. 

“ Jinks! ” exclaimed the Scotchman, lowering his gun, 
“ the wild men are showing a flag of truce.” 

“Hold your fire, men!” shouted the Cowboy, who 
was in charge of the Teenie Weenie fort at the time. 
“They are sending out a flag of truce.” 

96 


IN THE WILDWOOD 


97 


Presently the wild man crawled out from behind the 
stick and timidly made his way toward the Teenie 
Weenies. 

“What do you want?” asked the Cowboy, peering 
over the top of the fort. 

“Wap gee goo mah be gum,” answered the wild man 
as he approached the Teenie Weenies. Of course none 
of them could understand a word of this. 



“Talk English, you goof,” cried the Cowboy. “I 
can’t understand that kind of talk.” 

The wild man carried a piece of folded birch bark in 
his hand and when he reached the fort he handed it over 
to the Cowboy. It was addressed to the General, and the 
Cowboy at once sent the note to him. 

When the note was delivered to the General, he found 
that it was from the Queen of the wild men, written by 
the Poet, and this is what he read: 



98 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


Commander in Chief, 

Teenie Weenie Army. 

My dear General: 

Her Royal Highness, Mooie, Queen of the wild men, sends 
greetings. Her Highness wishes to talk over terms of peace 
with you and suggests that you and your staff meet her at the 
stream which crosses the path halfway between the Sabo vil¬ 
lage and your camp. Her Highness awaits your pleasure and 
asks Your Excellency to set a date for the meeting. 

Respectfully yours 

RUFUS RHYME. 

P. S.— Although the Lady of Fashion and I have been 
closely guarded since we have been prisoners, we have been 
very well treated and I ask that you take this into considera¬ 
tion when you arrange peace terms. 

R. R. 

The General answered the note at once, making 
arrangements to meet the Queen on the following day. 

The next day at the appointed time the General, the 
Old Soldier and a guard of eight soldiers marched off to 
the meeting place, where they found the Queen await¬ 
ing them. 

The Queen sat on her favorite turtle and she had with 
her several of her warriors and the Poet. 

As the Teenie Weenies drew near, the Queen and her 
followers raised their left hands above their heads, which 
is the Sabo custom when friends meet. The Queen was 
the first to speak, and the Poet, who had learned the Sabo 
language while he was held prisoner, translated her 
words to the Teenie Weenies as follows: 

“O, great chief of the thunder wagon (the name, “Men 




99 










































































































































100 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


of the Thunder Wagon,” was given to the Teenie Weenies 
on account of the cannon which the wild men said 
sounded like thunder), we have come here to ask for 
peace. We do not wish to fight; we ask only for the lib¬ 
erty of our brothers whom you hold prisoners. Give us 
back our brothers and we will return the Lady of Fashion 
and the Poet to you. We will also give you two hundred 
smoked frog hams for our brothers’ return.” 

“ O queen of beauty and ruler of all the Saboes,” said 
the General when the Poet had finished, “ we do not wish 
to fight, and we ask only forthe return of our friends. For 
their safe return we will free your brothers. The hams 
you have offered we could not think of taking, for we took 
up arms against you, not for gain, but only for the free¬ 
dom of the Lady of Fashion and the Poet.” 

The Queen was greatly pleased at the General’s words 
and arrangements were made for the exchange of the pris¬ 
oners. 

That same day all the wild men, except the ones who 
were in the hospital and who were too sick to leave, were 
set free. 

They were taken, under guard of several soldiers, to 
the stream where the General had met the Queen. The 
Lady of Fashion and the Poet were waiting for them and 
the Teenie Weenie soldiers gave three mighty cheers 
when they saw their friends. The prisoners were ex¬ 
changed and the Lady of Fashion and the Poet were 
taken to the Teenie Weenie camp, where they were 
given a royal welcome. 











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1 w v w\ ] 

k'~5-L// Vi: 

HHr 




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f® 




L ^ v / 


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“'vA*' 

.» X n. 1 
\W'i. S-J^7 



























































IN THE WILDWOOD 


101 


The Lady of Fashion was so happy to be again among 
her friends that she did a very ladylike thing—she cried. 
The nurses cried and several of the men were seen to blow 
their tiny noses and blink their eyes. 

“ Oh, I’m so happy to be safe with you all again,” 
cried the Lady of Fashion as she hugged the General for 
the tenth time. “ I don’t know what those nasty wild men 
captured us for, we never could find out, but I will say for 
them that they were very good to us.” 

“ Well, we are mighty glad to have you with us again,” 
said the General. “And it’s through the loyalty of every 
soldier in our army that your rescue has been accom¬ 
plished.” 

“ I know it. I know it,” cried the little lady, and she 
hugged every single man in the army except the China¬ 
man, who was so embarrassed that he ran off and hid in a 
hollow log for nearly an hour. 

The two nurses took the Lady of Fashion to their 
tent, where she washed until she was as clean as a drop 
of dew. 

That night the army gathered around a roaring bon¬ 
fire and eagerly listened to the Poet while he told them 
how he and the Lady of Fashion had spent their time 
as prisoners of the wild men. When he had finished, the 
little people sang songs, told stories and gossiped until 
after midnight, when the General ordered everyone to 
bed. 

"It’s so nice to sleep in a clean, honest-to-goodness 
bed again,’’said the Lady of Fashion when she crawled 



102 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 



into one of the tiny cots in the nurses’ tent, but she didn’t 
sleep a great deal, for the three little women had so 


much to talk about. They whispered and giggled until 
early morning. 











Chapter Twenty-Five 

THE PEACE DANCE 


W lLL, folks,” announced the General the next 
morning as he sat down to breakfast with sev¬ 
eral of his officers, the Lady of Fashion and the Poet, “ we 
must make ready for the march home. We have a long 
journey ahead of us and we must get started as soon as 
possible.” 

“ I don’t see how we can,” answered the Doctor, who 
was helping himself to a piece of frog ham. “The 
Sailor is in no condition to be moved and, besides, I still 
have a couple of the wild men on my hands, who are 
in such shape I can’t leave them for a few days.” 

“ That’s so! That’s so! ” exclaimed the General. “ Of 
course we’ll have to stay until our duty is done.” 

“My patients are all doing well and I don’t see why 
we won’t be able to get away in five or six days,” said 
the Doctor. 

The little soldiers were greatly disappointed when 
they heard that the army would not start immediately 
for home, for now that the war was over they were all 
anxious to return. However, they made the best of their 
time by fishing, swimming and playing games. 

One morning a sentinel came to the General’s tent, 
followed by one of the wild men. 

103 


104 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


“This fellow has a message for you,” said the senti¬ 
nel pointing to the wild man, who held a piece of folded 
birch bark in his hand. “There are about twenty-five 
more of ’em waiting out beyond our lines and they’ve 
each got a big bundle all wrapped up in leaves.” 

The General opened the note which the wild man 
handed him, but when he found it was written in the 
Sabo language he sent for the Poet. 

“You’ll have to translate this gibberish for me,” said 
the General when the Poet appeared. “It’s too much 
for me.” 

The Poet carefully read the note and then repeated 
it to the General. 

“It’s from the Queen and she is sending you greet¬ 
ings and some presents,” said the Poet. “She also in¬ 
vites you to the great Dance of Peace and Plenty. This 
is the dance the wild men dance whenever they make 
peace with their enemies. You must go to the dance, 
for that is the way the wild men have of showing that 
they want to be friendly.” 

“All right,” answered the General; “tell her I’ll come. 
Thank her for the presents and give her my regards.” 

A number of soldiers were sent out to bring in the 
presents the Queen had sent and when they were un¬ 
wrapped the little people were surprised to find a num¬ 
ber of fat frog hams, a quantity of wild rice, a large jar 
of fruit paste made out of wild berries, many nut meats 
and sweet seeds. 

“We ought to send a present to the Queen in return 




IN THE WILDWOOD ___105 

for all this food,” said the General. “ What shall we send 
her?” 

“Send her that thimble the Dunce ruined trying to 
make a suit of armor,” answered the Poet, who had heard 
the story of the Dunce’s armor. 

“Not that old thimble!” exclaimed the General. 
“Sure,” laughed the Poet. “She will think that it is 
wonderful!” 


So the thimble was sent to the Queen, who prized it 
more than anything else she owned. 

On the appointed day the General set off for the 
dance with a number of the Teenie Weenies, and as they 
drew near the village they were met by a body of wild 
men who had been sent out as a guard of honor to escort 
the General into the village. He was led to a spot beneath 
a big bush where the Queen sat cross-legged on a won¬ 
derfully soft piece of cloth which had been thrown on 
the ground. Over her head hung another cloth which 




106 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


was fastened at the four corners to long poles held in the 
hands of four wild men. 

A great many wild men and women stood about an 
open spot under the bush, which had been swept until 
it was as clean as a pin. Many children ran about the 
place, some of them climbing onto the grass houses and 
into the trees. On the edge of the crowd stood several 
small animals, and some birds were perched in the bush 
Overhead. 

The General made a low bow to the Queen and when 
she motioned for him to sit by her side, he sat down on 
the soft cloth. The Queen and the General talked for 
some time through the Poet, who translated for them. 

Presently the Queen gave a command to one of her 
warriors and instantly several men, who were sitting on 
the ground in front of the Queen, began to beat on 
drums. The drums were made out of a piece of hollow 
reed. The ends were covered with snake skin and they 
made a very pretty, mellow sound. Another man beat 
on a piece of wood which had been fixed to a split reed, 
while three or four women beat paddles together in 
time with the music. 

Instantly a number of voices broke into a loud song 
from behind a house near by and presently the danc¬ 
ers came hopping and prancing into the cleared spot 
before the Queen. First came a warrior with a long 
spear and when he danced directly in front of the Queen 
he broke the spear in two over his knee. Next came a 
man with a queer seed pod over his; head and in one 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


107 


hand he carried a whip with which he struck the war¬ 
rior every now and then. In the other hand he carried 
a dried seed pod which rattled loudly in time with the 
song. The next dancer wore a frog’s head and hopped 
in time with the music, much after the fashion of a frog. 
Several girls followed the frog man, carrying plates of 
smoked frog ham and rice cakes. 

“The first man in the dance,” explained the Poet to 
the General, “ is the Spirit of War. He broke the spear 
to show you that the war was over and the next man 
rattled the seed pod and struck him with the whip to 
scare him away, which means that the wild men are 
through with war and wish to get rid of the War Spirit. 
The frog man represents the frog meat which the wild 
men eat, and his funny dance means that good times are 
coming, for you see the pretty girls follow with plates 
of rice cakes and meat.” 

The dancers performed for several minutes and then 
the man with the whip and rattle chased the Spirit of 
War over the hill out of sight, which meant that the 
Spirit of War was gone for good. 

After the dance a great fire was built and when a 
heap of hot ashes had burned, the wild men wrapped 
several frog hams in sassafras leaves and put them into 
the hot bed of ashes to roast. When the hams were cooked 
they were cut into slices and served to the Teenie Wee¬ 
nies and the wild men. Wonderfully delicious rice cakes 
were also served and the Teenie Weenies ate until they 
were quite filled. The greedy Dunce ate so much he 




108 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


became quite ill and had to be carried back to the Tee- 
nie Weenie camp, where the Doctor was kept busy most 
of the night putting heated buttons on his aching 
tummy, until the pain was gone. 



Chapter Twenty-Six 

HOME 


Put a bean on to boil, Mr. Cook! 
Put a bean on to boil, Mr. Cook! 
For an army, it must eat 
And rest its weary feet; 

So put on a bean, Mr. Cook! 



HE Teenie Weenie soldiers sang this song as they 


JL sat about their tiny camp fire one evening shortly 
after the peace dance. They were all happy, for they 
were to start for home in the morning. The Sailor was 
now well enough to stand the long trip and that was all 
that had been holding them back. 

“ He can stand the trip,” the Doctor said, “ if he is car¬ 
ried in some way that will not jolt him. He was badly 
wounded and I wouldn’t care to have him ride in one 
of the army wagons, as they are much too rough.” 

“We can make a litter and get two mice to carry it,” 
suggested Tess Bone. 

“That’s a good idea,” said the Doctor. “He will rest 
that way in fine shape.” 

The Turk and the Old Soldier agreed to make the 
litter and in a short time they had built such a cozy one 
the Sailor was quite pleased with it. 

“ Crickety! ” exclaimed the Dunce when he saw the lit- 


109 


110 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


ter, “I wish I was wounded so I could ride in that in¬ 
stead of walkin’ all the way home.” 

The army wagons were loaded and early in the morn- 





ing the little army began the long journey home. First 
the cannon and then the baggage and wagons had to 
be moved across the river on the raft. It took the little 
people all day to move across the river, for many trips 

















IN THE WILDWOOD 


111 


had to be made with the clumsy raft. But at the end of 
the day not a single Teenie Weenie was left on Sabo 
Island. 

As Queen Mooie had given the Teenie Weenies so 
many presents of frog hams, rice cakes, delicious seeds 
and many hickory nut meats, the little people were well 
supplied with good food. Every evening after the day’s 
march the happy little army ate their meal gathered 
around a glowing camp fire. They laughed and joked, 
sang songs, told stories and gossiped with the many 
birds and animals of the woods who gathered about the 
camp fire. 

Often the Teenie Weenies listened to a strange tale of 
the forest, told by some owl or chipmunk, and quite 
often the birds sang to them. 

One evening a wicked old weasel came prowling 
around the camp. The little folks were quite alarmed 
about it, for the old fellow hung around for a long time. 
They could see his wicked green eyes shining in the 
light from the camp fire and when the General asked 
him what he wanted, he never answered. At last the 
General told several of the soldiers to fire off their rifles. 

“ Shoot in the air over his head and give him a good 
scare,” ordered the General. “ I think that will fix him.” 

At the first sound of the guns the weasel quickly dis¬ 
appeared into the night and nothing more was seen of 
him, although the men kept a mighty close watch for 
several days. 

When the army came to the place where they had 



112 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


built the bridge, they found the squirrel whom they had 
hired to guard it, on duty. 

“ Well, here I am,” shouted the squirrel. “And here is 
the bridge just as you left it.” 

“You have done your duty well,” said the General, 
and he ordered the Cook to pay the squirrel the ten sun¬ 
flower seeds and the hickory nuts which had been prom¬ 
ised him. 

“Well, I always believe in doin’ my duty,” said the 
squirrel. “ If I agree to do a thing I always stick to my 
word — I’d rather lose every whisker I’ve got than go 
back on my word.” 

A bluejay who was sitting in a bush near by snick¬ 
ered and the squirrel gave him a nasty look. The Tee- 
nie Weenies thought for a minute that there might be 
a quarrel, but the bluejay flew off, so they felt much 
easier. 

After a pleasant talk with the squirrel, the General 
ordered the army to march on and as long as the Tee¬ 
nie Weenies were in sight the squirrel waved to them 
from the top of an old stump. 

The trip seemed to agree with the Sailor. He grew 
stronger and stronger under the watchful eye of the Doc¬ 
tor and the two dainty nurses. He was fed on broth and 
a tiny bit of poached bird’s egg each day, and as the 
army drew near home he was almost strong enough to 
walk. 

One day the Teenie Weenies were surprised to hear 
a bird shout to them from a bush over their heads and 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


113 


when they looked up they saw it was Tilly Titter, the 
English Sparrow—an old and trusted friend. 

Of course the General ordered a halt, while the men 
gathered around the sparrow and asked many ques¬ 
tions. 

“ How are the twins? ” asked Mr. Lover. 

“ Fine! Just fine! ” cried the bird. “ I was over to the 
village yesterday and they were playin’ foot ball with 
a gooseberry. They are as husky as a caterpillar in a 
mulberry bush. Your wife is as fat as butter; I’ll bet she 
has gained half an ounce since you left her.” 

After the Teenie Weenies had learned all the news 
from home the General gave a message to Tilly and 
asked her to deliver it to the Teenie Weenie village. 

“You can just bet your last fish worm I’ll carry that 
message as quick as I can,” said the bird. “ Everyone in 
the village will be tickled to death to hear that you are 
so near home. Grandpa will be so ’appy ’e’ll shout 
’imself ’oarse.” 

Spreading her wings, Tilly Titter flew into the air and 
quickly disappeared in the direction of the Teenie Wee¬ 
nie village. 



Chapter Twenty-seven 


THE GRAND REVIEW 


T ILLY Titter flew as she never flew 
before and in a short time she 
landed on the ground beside the shoe 
house, her feathers all ruffled up with 
excitement. 

“ I’ve got news,” she shouted, as the 
little women gathered about her. “ I’ve 
just come from the General 
and the army will be home 
in about three days.” 

“Is my husband well?” 
shouted Mrs. Lover. 

“He’s as healthy as a 





IN THE WILDWOOD 


115 


dandelion and as pink as a rose bud,” answered Tilly. 

“How’s the Poet and the Lady of Fashion?” asked 
Grandpa. 

“Well and ’appy,” cried Tilly. “As I was a sayin’, 
the army will be ’ome in about three days. The General 
said to tell you that they would arrive on Friday after¬ 
noon if everthing goes well. He says for you to have a 
good supper ready for the boys and to have plenty, for 
they will be as hungry as young robins.” 

“ Is the Sailor getting along nicely? ” asked Miss Guff. 

“Fine as a fiddle! Fine as a fiddle!” answered the 
sparrow. “ Wants to walk, ’e’s feelin’ so well, but the Doc¬ 
tor makes ’im stay in the litter and ride.” 

“ Well, we have got to get busy and do somethin’ for 
the boys,” cried Grandpa. “We’ve got to give ’em a big 
feed and decorate the place with flags and show ’em 
we’re glad to see ’em.” 

“We’ll get up a grand supper for them,” cried Mrs. 
Lover, “ and we’ll have a dance afterwards.” 

“I’ll bring over a big chunk of cheese,” cried the 
mouse that had joined the crowd. 

“ I’ll get some fat worms for the supper,” cried Tilly, 
and instantly she blushed a deep brown. “Oh, I forget 
you don’t eat worms. Well, I’ll get some sunflower seeds.” 

“ I’ll donate a few nuts,” said Nick, the squirrel, who 
had been hoping for a chance to speak. 

“Oh, I forgot to say that the General said ’e would 
come in ahead of the army so ’e could review them as 
they marched into the village,” cried Tilly. 



116 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


“ He’s going to review the troops, did you say? ” asked 
Grandpa, who was hard of hearing. 

“Yes!” shouted Tilly, right into the old gentleman’s 
ear. “The General is goin’ to review the army.” 

“ Well, we got to get a reviewing stand ready for him,” 
cried Grandpa. 

“ I’ll help,” shouted the mouse, “ and I’ll get some mice 
to help, too.” 

“All right, get ’em!” cried Grandpa. “The sooner we 
get to work the better it will be.” 

In a short time the Teenie Weenies were as busy as 
bees in a clover field. The little women set to work cook¬ 
ing and baking. They made cakes and cookies by the 
thimble full. They made ginger cookies, nut cookies, 
chocolate cake, fruit cake and half an English walnut full 
of doughnuts, besides all sorts of other good things. 

Grandpa put eight mice, a chipmunk and half a dozen 
bugs to work getting the place ready for the returning 
soldiers. They cleaned up the rubbish under the rose¬ 
bush, they moved all the desks out of the schoolhouse, 
where the dinner and dance were to be held, and they 
made a reviewing stand out of the top of a candy box. 

Nick, the squirrel, worked hard opening nuts. He 
gnawed so many his teeth became sore, but he never com¬ 
plained, for he was a very patriotic squirrel and most fond 
of the Teenie Weenies. 

The little folks decorated the village with Teenie 
Weenie flags and bunting and when the time arrived for 
the army to march home the village was crowded with 




117 









118 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


all sorts of visitors. Bugs, mice, squirrels, birds, chip¬ 
munks, and even a few chickens and ducks, crowded 
under the rose-bush. 

The General rode in ahead of the army and took his 
place on the reviewing stand amid the wildest shouting 
and waving of flags, but when the troops came marching 
into view there was such a squealing of squirrels and 
mice and squawking of chickens, ducks and birds, one 
could hardly hear oneself think. Grandpa shouted so 
hard that he had one of his choking fits, and a mouse 
had to pound him on the back until he could get his 
breath. 

When the review was over there was much hugging 
and kissing and some crying, for most of the little women 
shed a few tears of happiness, but that’s a strange way 
women folks have of showing they are happy. One old 
hen cried so hard she had to be led away. A duck insisted 
on kissing the Dunce and a mouse hugged Paddy Pinn 
so hard it nearly broke his arm. 

After the little soldiers had visited for a time they were 
called into the old derby hat for supper and such a supper 
as they had! There was roasted bird’s egg, frog ham, 
escalloped hickory nut, walnut au gratin, creamed hearts 
of sun-flower seed, water cress and wild cherry salad, and 
cakes and cookies and sliced grape and ice cream. 

When the little soldiers had eaten until they could not 
hold another morsel, the General arose from his seat at 
the head of the big table and made a speech. 

“Friends and men of the Teenie Weenie army,” he 



IN THE WILDWOOD 


119 


began, “ I want to thank you for your loyal and hearty 
service. You have gone through hardships and you have 
risked your lives in battle without complaint. You have 
done this to aid those in trouble and nothing greater can 
be said of your deeds than that they were done willingly. 
Men, I am proud to have been your leader.” 

“Three cheers for the army!” shouted a mouse who 
had been helping to wait on table, and the cheers were 
given with a will. 

Next the Lady of Fashion made a little speech. She 
very prettily thanked the General and the army for hav¬ 
ing rescued the Poet and herself from the wild men and 
as she sat down there were tears in her pretty eyes. The 
Poet spoke and Grandpa made a speech about the great 
war in forty-two, but few heard what the old gentleman 
said, for they were anxious to talk to one another about 
the great events of the rescue of their friends. 

“Friends!” shouted Paddy Pinn, when Grandpa had 
sat down, “ I think the Dunce ought to explain to the rest 
of us just why that old duck was so anxious to kiss him.” 
Every one yelled so loudly for the Dunce that he was 
forced to stand up, but he was so embarrassed he couldn’t 
speak a word and the Teenie Weenies laughed so hard 
they cried. 

When the tables had been cleared away the orchestra 
started playing and in a few minutes the little folks were 
swinging around to the music of “The Lady of Fashion 
Waltz.” They danced until nearly morning—in fact it 
was broad daylight when the tired little soldiers crawled 



120 


THE TEENIE WEENIES 


into their tiny beds, every one of them mighty thankful 
that they were safely home again. 

“The war is over, our duty is done; 

Hang up the pistol, the sword and the gun.” 

Rufus Rhyme, 

Teenie Weenie Poet . 



























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